Welcome to Cove

Brosh! Siht ahruuwnd za ghash agh gûr jabat ash shum jabi abuwt ghash, breehdhing agh olyjmpihgs!

[Hail! Sit around the fire and i will tell you a great story about fire, breeding and olympigs!]

Gûr agh Xnath, ash urukku, gu u Kobve u ahvendj gûriob mat uruki! Matatuga shum tarki! Gûri conogatuga! Ti SHUM! Shum throki!

[Me and Xnath, an old orc, went to Cove to avenge our dead orcs! Killed many humans! We trespass! is GREAT! Much food!]

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Gûri gimbatuga za urukiob arti, nar thrakat, pagog dhoor ti lohkked. Pagog.

[We find the orcs' gold, don't take, stupid door is locked. Stupid.]
 
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Gûri snoshatuga ash stauchur dar! Ghash! Shum ghash! Gûri ghashatuga ta!

[We smell a hobbit house! Fire! Much fire! We set fire to it!

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Gûri gimbatuga ash "lighthouse," ash pagog tark dar. Ghashatuga ÛK!

[We find a lighthouse, a stupid human house. Set fire to ALL!]

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Gûri ghashatuga za pagog pok agzash! Za burg ti pagog agh pauatuga raz dru! Pagog!

[We set fire to the stupid fortifications too! The fort is stupid and made of wood! Stupid!]

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Gûri ghashatuga ash muuhr pagog dar! Ti shum!

[We set fire to one more stupid house! is great!]


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Urur! Gûri gimbatuga ash "phark." Nar ghashatuga, pauatuga ta uruk stajhl! Ti shum!

[But! We find a "park." Don't set fire to it, make it orc style! is great!]

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Gûri zen vrapogatuga bahkk u za dari. Wayjt ûr muuhr uruki agh gimbatuga za "olyjhmpihg" ishi Bezpurk! Grim'zlog gimbatuga
ash bûb, nar za olyjmpihg." Nar shum! Gûri gimbatuga za stauchur! Gûr whunt za ûr gûrob dihnnur, urur za pagog, shematut skessi za ti tarki rogtarat za. Nar shum! Muuhr plahnningk nihdehd! Gûr habve ash SHUM rehszhipyj ûr stauchur! Uruki leabve, nar ghed matatuga!]

[We then marched back to the houses. Wait for more orcs and then find the "Olympig" in Vesper! Grim'zlog found a pig, not the olympig. Not great. We find the hobbit! i want it for my dinner, but the stupid, ugly trollops that are humans guard it. Not great! More planning needed! i have a GREAT recipe for hobbit! Orcs leave, not get killed!]

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Gûr whunt u bhreehdh, zuh, gûr gu u Stuuhnkihp ishi Yew. Ti pagog pleyze, urur gûr 'eard raz "Lahryjnda," ash burzillid gugatug dere! Nar brhreehd wib ash burzillid befuur! Gûr pauat ash kuhnninkt plahn! Gûr diszhgaize ahz munk, ghashatuga za tauvhurn, trikk za pagog burzillid u gu ishidar, lohkk za pagog burzillid ishidar, wheyjt ûr za smohk u pauat ta fheyjnt... Den BHREEHDH!

[i want to breed, so, i go to Stonekeep in Yew. is stupid place, but i heard of Larynda, a dark elf, lives there! Not bred with a dark elf before! i make a cunning plan! i disguise myself as a monk, set fire to the tavern, trick the stupid dark elf to go inside, lock the stupid dark elf inside, wait for the smoke to make her faint... Then BREED!

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Obvfcuurz, plahn wurhk! Nar feyjl!

[Of course, plan worked! Didn't fail!]

[OOC: An orc lies. Also, they're capable of hatching plans for hunting hobbits and runaway elves. Beware.]