Welcome to Cove

*the entire paper is printed in ellaborate calligraphy*

The Covetowne Gazette - The Least Biased Newspaper In The World

Stories fabricated investigated, written, printed, and distributed by Linaeus C. Blackwind, esquire. Artistic license assumed with all sketches. Take seriously at your own risk.

Cove's Treasury Falls Into A Solen Hole
Sources within the Bank of Cove have flatly refused to state that Cove's treasury is running alarmingly low. For this reason, one can only assume that it is. Furthermore, a brief trespass trip to the Barracks revealed that a meager sum of twenty-two-thousands rests within the Army Coffers.

Is Cove going bankrupt? The bank wont say.

The Phantom Radish
The army was recently launched a brief, pointless enquiry as to the whereabouts of Cove's Radish crop. Unbeknownst to the guardsmen running the investigation, Covian farmers do not grow Radishes - its a chiefly Vesperian crop. The result was several hours of Covian guardsmen dashing about questioning passerby about the fate of the Radish crop, several confiscated carrots, and an early harvest.

Cove's Finest; Still looking for those Radishes.

Hats On Holiday
Cove was shocked this week, as the notorious Hats failed to continue their practice of nightly rampaging for a third week.

"They're obviously trying to psyche us out," one Covian said "I mean really."

Though thankful for the brief lull in crime, many Covians have stated that they will be using this time to reinforce their doors, purchase and install metal bars for their windows, and learn to use a crossbow.

An alternate theory is that the Hats made off with the Post Office.

- Linaeus Carolus Blackwind, Reporter, Writer, Editor, Publisher

(OOC Note: The names in the journals in screenshots are not IC knowledge under any circumstances. This newspaper is liberally tossed about on the ground and front steps throughout town the morning after it is printed, and the stories in it are IC information. The names mentioned -in the text- may be treated as IC information.)

*A copy of the Gazette has been nailed to a wall in Cove, and under it is scribbled:*

"The Hats on holiday? Who do you think has all of the money from the coffers?"