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Title: Issue 8: BARONIAL BOTTOM BLOTTER BUSTED! CRIME WAVE CONTINUES! Post by: Covetowne Gazette on July 16, 2018, 11:07:22 pm Hear ye, hear ye! (https://i.imgur.com/VbOBugG.png) Cove remains gripped in the height of a most horrendous crime wave! Even the Baron himself has become a victim, having been viciously assaulted by an image of crudely drawn buttocks dispatched by the local criminal vagrant known as Hagarman, who is assumed to be the accomplice of wanted criminal Grassman! In response to the Grenadier's failure to quell the crisis, Corporal Torrak Keres has gotten the boot! (https://i.imgur.com/tb7SjFJ.png) Wisely at the recent Sunday parade the Baron replaced tired old Keres, with new bright eyed Keres - the corporal switched out for his younger and more female sibling, Cailin Keres. This inspired Baronial choice is already paying dividends, as she immediately tracked down and apprehended Hagarman who in a desperate attempt to escape justice, took freshly arrived citizen Felix Stickleback hostage! (https://i.imgur.com/nWVIPfW.png) (https://i.imgur.com/6yUuO3U.png) (https://i.imgur.com/h1bclRs.png) A tense hostage stand off took place, but the quick thinking new Grenadier leader outsmarted the ne'er-do-well and dispensed swift justice! The injured Felix Stickleback was treated at the scene by 'Mad Doc' Kobra and is expected to lead a normal, if traumatised life (https://i.imgur.com/W29Zfi0.png) (https://i.imgur.com/eNJ3o0Y.jpg) Hagarman is expected to pay a full five thousand gold fine, and face Baronial buttocks branding for his nefarious crimes! Not so CHEEKY now!? Another grand Covian victory! RUMOURS: § 'Mad Doc' Kobra starts orphanage adopting local urchins, all are to apply within the barracks § Restless dead seen haunting Covian lands, Vesperian wytches blamed § Influx of new citizens drives Covian house prices to record levels! Small shack sold for 43 goats! CAN THE NEW CADET RESTORE ORDER TO COVE OR IS THIS BOUT OF BOTTOM BASED BUFFONERY ONLY THE BEGINNING? FIND OUT IN THE NEXT ISSUE OF THE COVETOWNE GAZETTE, COVE'S MOST WIDELY USED COATING FOR THE HOMELESS! Title: Re: Issue 8: BARONIAL BOTTOM BLOTTER BUSTED! CRIME WAVE CONTINUES! Post by: Leanne Martin on July 17, 2018, 07:27:20 am *Leanne writes a letter to the Covian Gazette*
Dear Gazette, Word on the street sais, Commander Grayner is cheating his way to the top of the Huntsmaster Top Score. He might be stealing the trophies from other hunters. Regards, Leso Varen A concerned Citizen Title: Re: Issue 8: BARONIAL BOTTOM BLOTTER BUSTED! CRIME WAVE CONTINUES! Post by: Hoagie on July 18, 2018, 08:32:08 am Dear Gazette,
I saw Officer Cadet Melior take performance enhancing drugs before her big (and failed!) trophy hunt. Is there no depths she will not sink to to defeat that handsome Commander? Yours sincerely, Anonymous Title: Re: Issue 8: BARONIAL BOTTOM BLOTTER BUSTED! CRIME WAVE CONTINUES! Post by: Raiden Morana on July 18, 2018, 09:09:55 am *peering over Hoagie's shoulder in the officer's mess as he pens the note, Raiden smirks and searches out quill and parchment.*
Dear Gazette, In light of Anonymous' correspondence, I'd like to clarify that I am no longer Commander. Sincerely yours. *signed* Raiden Morana, Captain, Covian Army. |