Welcome to Cove

*An old ugly woman with a fat stomach and a wrinkled face with too much make-up on walks towards you*

Ohhh! Well hello there big boy! Have any of the other girls in town ever said you look so daring and brave in that armour of yours?

*The woman puts a hand over her mouth as she giggles madly for a good long while*

Oh my so sorry my boy.. But you see there’s a little…. ‘’favour’’ I need you to help me with and I‘m sure a handsome strong lad like yourself could do this for me.

*The woman takes a few steps forward and winks towards you*

You see I’ve been having a little trouble lately so I decided to ask help from the local militia and what do you know.. They give me a scroll saying I get one militia recruit for a limited time so that means you belong to me for now boy.

Now the other ladies in town have been saying I’ve been ‘’out of date’’ lately.. Ha! Those little strumpets don’t know what their talking about if you ask me! I can still get any man I want with these gorgeous looks of mine.
*The fat woman wiggles her eyebrows towards you and takes a small step closer to you*

Well I’m not one to believe these accusations these women have been making but I would say I might have used my look a little too long these days so I’m going to need a whole new make-over!

I’m been preparing a list of the items I’ll need for my make-over, such as a new dress some new high quality make-up and things like that! But you’ll find it all on the list I’ve been writing big boy.

*The fat woman digs around in her pocket and pulls out a folded piece of paper*

Now these are raw materials so I don’t expect you to sew me a dress just bring it back to me and I’ll figure out how to get these items converted into the ones I want.

*The woman winks one last time and blows a kiss towards you before turning around and walking off*

The note in your hands reads :

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To the valiant knight I have given this note too, I give on to you a quest to help a poor beautiful maiden such as myself.
I am going to require you to travel deep into the lands of darkness to recover some items for me to make me even more beautiful then I already am.

The first item would be my dress, these are the items I will need for it.

- The silk of a dread spider
- The inner layer of a solen queen egg sack.
- The hide of a white wolf

The second item would be my make up, these are the items I’ll need for it.

- A blue berry from the trees which are guarded by the savage people.
- The dust of a unicorns horn

Now thirdly but not last I’ll need something to dye my hair.

- The fluids of a Quagmire

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*Ryan is once again sitting in the tavern scribbling words and pictures down on a large stack of paper*

*The bartender slowly approached Ryan and wiped some sweat off his bald head before raising a brow*

My my… your officers sure can keep ye busy can‘t they? Every time your down here your scribbling on another sheet of paper.. Ye should really take a break lad.
 
*Twitching faintly at the word lad Ryan looked up and forced a grin on his face*

Well… meh mother always said that with ‘ard work came big rewards, and I‘ll make it out of this ‘ere recruit rank even if it is the last bloodi thin‘ I‘ll do!

*Laughing loudly the bartender shook his head and walked off to the other end of the bar*

’Ave it yer way lad.. I‘m nay one to stop ye, but if that hand of yers falls off because of all that writing yer doing nay come crying to me!

*Muttering quietly to himself Ryan looked down at his report*

Hmph.. Bloodi eijit everybody be knowin‘ yer ‘and only falls off if ye eat carrots and then write! Now… where was I again..?

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Recruit Report

Created by : Ryan Greystone, Mercna Guardsman recruit.

Written on : Tuesday February 15th

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During my morning patrol an old Covian woman approached me and she seemed to be rambling something about having something for me to do and her being beautiful.

*Looking up from the report Ryan shivered faintly* 

Beautiful meh arse! ‘Er face would ‘ave put an orcs arse to shame.

*Shivering again Ryan continued writing his report*

Well the old woman had one of them scrolls stamped by the Baron so I couldn’t really question her orders.
She gave me some sort of shopping list that must have been written in the deepest rings of the abyss because the things that were listed on it… well I never even heard of half of these things!

After trying to decode her shopping list for more then thirty minutes I decided to use that blue wytchy thing to get to Moonglow because me mother always said that them smart folk live there.
Looking around moonglow for a while I came across this place called ‘’The Lyrs Lycieur Lyceum.’’
 
*Whistling to himself Ryan started to scribble down a picture on the sheet of paper*

(http://img174.exs.cx/img174/9008/recruit10ez.jpg)

Now I tell ye that there place was huge! It had this here big fancy looking courtyard and them fancy looking yellow stoned buildings.
Well.. I had a wee look around for a while, I tried to ask some of those robed folk where I could get some help but they all seemed awfully busy rushing from building to building.


Well who never said I could nay find anything? Because after a few minutes of looking around I came across this here HUGE library! I tell ye it had bookcases reaching all the way up to the ceiling.
 
(http://img227.exs.cx/img227/1884/recruit27vy.jpg)

I must have looked through them bloody books for hours I tell you, but wouldn’t you know it.. The last book I wanted to try was the correct one! Just me luck!
The book explained about the first creature on my list.. This so called ‘’dread spider’’ was rumoured to live in dark underground places such as tunnels. Well good thing for me I just happened to come across a tunnel in my years of staying in Yew.

When I reached Britain I got a ride on a hay wagon of some farmer who was heading towards Yew anyway, pretty nice fellow I tell you but he sure smelled funny.
Not quite sure how long it took me to get to Yew since I must have dozed off somewhere during the trip. I still blame the hay I do!

Well the farmer set me off right near them cursed fields of Yew.. The ones swarming with the deadies he said something about not wanting to disturb the deadies with my snoring.. I tell you that fellow had to be drunk because I don’t snore.. Honestly!
Good thing for me that hole I remembered was located pretty close to those fields so I only have to take a wee walk there.

After entering the tunnels it must have taken me at least an hour to get even close to those dread spiders.. You could hear all sort of things moving around in the tunnels but I could hardly see a thing and wouldn’t you know it.. My bloody torch refused to work! I tell you those things just wait until the right time to screw up.

When I finally came across a shimmer that looked like a spider I charged it without fear nor hesitation! Its not like any wee spider could scare me… Nope! Not me!
My axe hit something squishy and I could hear this terrible screech so I just kept swinging my axe down at it until the screeching stopped.
 
(http://img227.exs.cx/img227/7751/recruit30zd.jpg)

Collecting the things I needed from that corpse I set forth to get myself out of that horrible place, but lady luck was smiling on me that day I tell you.
From the darkness I could see a fat ant like creature moving around guarded by two smaller ants. Well I just went with my instincts since what other creature would walk these tunnels looking like an ant and being that fat?

A few swings and slices from my axe and I could hear a terrible scream echo through the darkness of the tunnels.
Well.. Whoever said big weapons like an axe aren’t handy in dark places? All you have to do is swing them around madly and you’ll hit something in no time!

*Looking up from the paper Ryan took a swig of his ale and smirked faintly*

Sure showed that bloodi thin‘.. Nay one messes with meh! Har Har!

*The bartender stared at Ryan with a  raised brow for a while before shaking his head again*

(http://img227.exs.cx/img227/1791/recruit49ai.jpg)

The next thing on my list was something called ‘’A white wolf’’ I heard rumours about these things but I never saw one of them in the flesh myself.
So I travelled back to Moonglow to visit that Lie Lycr Lyciusm big building.

I already spend too much bloody time on searching for the book myself last time and I saw nay planning on making the same mistake twice.
I asked some bald of fellow if he knew something about white wolves and wouldn’t ye know it.. He grabbed the correct book in mere seconds.
I never will understand how those smart folk do things like that.

It seemed these white wolves things lived on a place called Artic island, well I’m nay fool so I quickly visited the local tailors for a nice warm robe since I was nay planning on freezing my arse off there.
Well this place was called Artic ‘’Island’’ so my guesses were that I needed a boat, got a great deal at one too! Sure it had a few holes and it was taking a wee bit of water but that thing was big and not to mention cheap!

(http://img227.exs.cx/img227/7696/recruit51wz.jpg)

After sailing away from moonglow for an hour or so I came to realize I forgot the bloody map! But the second I tried to turn the ship around the front of the ship shattered into a thousand pieces as it crashed into a large block of ice.
Its not like these things happen all the time to me of course.. I mean.. who would be stupid enough to lose more then seven ships in their sailing career?

*Looking up from the piece of paper Ryan rubbed the back of his neck and looks around with a nervous grin on his face*

*The bartender walked towards Ryan and leaned on the bar raising a brow*

Something wrong there lad? You seem sort of nervous like ye‘ve just been spreading some big lie.

*Ryan quickly shook his head and starting scribbling down on the paper again*

After wandering those icy lands for more then an hour I finally came across the creature I was looking for, but let me tell you.. It was not happy to see me.
The wolf charged at me with foam covering its mouth and its razor sharp teeth clearly showing.
Well I did what any sane man would do in such a situation… I grabbed my katana and grabbed it in the wolves neck as hard as I could.

Lucky for me the wolf was dead instantly… unlucky for me that the wolf jumped on me as I pierced its neck and it was now lying on top of me.. I tell you that thing weighed a ton!

(http://img227.exs.cx/img227/462/recruit67fh.jpg)

Your probably wondering how I got myself off the island and back to Moonglow with my ship being gone and all eh?
Well I just happened to come across a ’’almost’’ empty ship which wasn’t too hard to take over and travel back to Moonglow with.

Well the next item on my list was something called blue berries.. The only blue berries I remembered were those I used to gather for Smedly’s blueberry pies so off I went to collect a new batch of them.
Thank the avatar the hills there had tall grass since it allowed me to sneak close to the berry trees without being noticed by those weird painted naked folk.

Well everything was going fine during the collecting of the berries until one of those freaks noticed me!
Naturally I stood tall and fought those freaks off! I tell you there must have been at least a thousand of them! No no… make that two thousand!
But after finishing them all off I set forth to collect the next item on my list.

(http://img227.exs.cx/img227/1830/recruit78fh.jpg)

Well being an old mercenary there were plenty of jobs out there for me, one of them was helping a recruit capture a live unicorn for some fat woman called Madam Gertrude or something like that.
After arriving at some water hole those unicorns liked to hang around I started to prepare myself for whacking that unicorn. I knew it had to be done tactful and perfectly timed, So I grabbed my axe and charged that thing screaming ’’Charge!’’.
The unicorn never knew what hit it! With one single cut with the axe between its eyes it fell dead on the grass.
The hardest part was getting that bloody horn though.. Whoever knew those things were stuck like a rock on a unicorns head! 

(http://img227.exs.cx/img227/236/recruit88vo.jpg)

Well the last item on my list was something I never even heard of and I sure as hell wasn’t going to return to that building in Moonglow ‘’again’’.
So I just asked the first person I came across… I mean somebody had to know it right?

When I told you lady luck smiled on me I wasn’t kidding! The first fellow I asked knew straight away what I was talking about and gave me a set of directions to something he called the home of Exodus or something like that.

Well.. With getting all the items I had this one was a piece of cake I tell you. The second I arrived at the location which the man spoke off I came eye to eye.. If that thing even had eyes, with the Quag thingy.
A few quick hits with my axe and it was lying down on the ground just like everything else I encountered.
I collected the fluids I needed from its belly and sealed the jar I put it in tightly, because boy does that stuff stink!

(http://img227.exs.cx/img227/3852/recruit96jv.jpg)

Well that’s about everything I can add in this report since nothing happened to me on the way back to Cove… well that’s a lie I met this cute lass who last her way but that’s another story.

*Blushing faintly and grinning Ryan starts to fold the papers together and adjust them in the right order*

Well… I sure bloodi ‘ope em officer folk will be ‘appy with this ‘ere report.. Now then… BARTENDER! Another ale ‘ere!

Excelent report ! Could'nt have done better myself

[OOC: Ace job mate, thats really good  :D]