Cove remains gripped in the height of a most horrendous crime wave! Even the Baron himself has become a victim, having been viciously assaulted by an image of crudely drawn buttocks dispatched by the local criminal vagrant known as Hagarman, who is assumed to be the accomplice of wanted criminal Grassman! In response to the Grenadier's failure to quell the crisis, Corporal Torrak Keres has gotten the boot!
Wisely at the recent Sunday parade the Baron replaced tired old Keres, with new bright eyed Keres - the corporal switched out for his younger and more female sibling, Cailin Keres. This inspired Baronial choice is already paying dividends, as she immediately tracked down and apprehended Hagarman who in a desperate attempt to escape justice, took freshly arrived citizen Felix Stickleback hostage!
A tense hostage stand off took place, but the quick thinking new Grenadier leader outsmarted the ne'er-do-well and dispensed swift justice! The injured Felix Stickleback was treated at the scene by 'Mad Doc' Kobra and is expected to lead a normal, if traumatised life
Hagarman is expected to pay a full five thousand gold fine, and face Baronial buttocks branding for his nefarious crimes! Not so CHEEKY now!? Another grand Covian victory!
RUMOURS:
§ 'Mad Doc' Kobra starts orphanage adopting local urchins, all are to apply within the barracks
§ Restless dead seen haunting Covian lands, Vesperian wytches blamed
§ Influx of new citizens drives Covian house prices to record levels! Small shack sold for 43 goats!
CAN THE NEW CADET RESTORE ORDER TO COVE OR IS THIS BOUT OF BOTTOM BASED BUFFONERY ONLY THE BEGINNING?
FIND OUT IN THE NEXT ISSUE OF THE COVETOWNE GAZETTE, COVE'S MOST WIDELY USED COATING FOR THE HOMELESS!
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