[Report] Martin-Meliors Monsterbashing!

[Leanne Martin]

Leading Guardsmen:

• Elizabeth 'Pickles' Martin-Melior, Arcanist Corporal
• Leanne Martin-Melior, Senior Arcanist Regular Scout

Attending Guardsmen:

• Raiden Harper-Morana, Captain
• Avalynn Vale, Junior Grenadier
• Saerandir also known as Sally Goeffriker, Junior Grenadier
• Thomas Aylmer, Junior Arcanist
• Abigail Keres, Junior Arcanist
• Fritz Segur, Junior Guardsman

Right after the parade, Commander Grayner gave the line to Pickles and me. And then all them bloody, lazy lads and lasses took the tail between their legs and asked for being dismissed.

"I have cramps!"
"I left a pig on the fire!"
"I don't like the mischievous look in yer eyes!"

Those were just a few excuses by this so called army! Bha! Pickles and I were just slightly stressed by this! Even that cheeky Commander sneaked off, while everyone else was complaining. But in the end tho, we found a bunch promising men and women that attended our adventure.





After we briefly addressed the line of what we had in mind, I handed out them bone knifes. Because when I got lost took a detour last time, this fisherman near our destination told me that only a blade made of bone could make the tree move its roots to let us pass. Not our of respect, more out of fear. So I gathered human bones asked a local smith to prepare some knifes for all of us.

Then, more preparing by this army of GuardsmanThatAren'tReadyWhenYouCallThemToServeDuty, a motivational speech about death and off we went!





Standing in front of that large tree was an eerie sight... Not even inside, we could already smell the stench of fear, anguish, hate and insanity steaming through the root gaps. Gazing upon it was a weird mixed feeling of awe and fear.



Once we passed the roots, a strange sight was in front of us. It appeared as there had been a complete own ecosystem inside this cave! And the smell, eww! I mean, I've smelled many fishy weird scents in my life, but this? We had to breath through our mouths, as the odour of rotten flesh and plant was too much too handle.

Carefully we stepped down the tree branches and set foot into the swampy terrain, only to be greeted by grotesque deformities and worst of all, nasty changelings that took on our appearance, causing confusion and disorder among our ranks.





Pickles and I led the small force to many of dead ends detours as we proceeded, fighting more and more strong foes as we went on. Eventually, I saw a frightened dryad that seemed yet clear of her thoughts, unlike the rest that was hiding behind these dead trees. In a shaky voice it told me of a demon woman, most likely a succubi, that caused all this havoc in this cave. And what is even more important, that succubi has a filthy mouth!






Such treachery!

We moved on, fighting many a foe and got our buttocks kicked a few times by nasty, multiple headed snakes. But as always, Cove stood proud. Except bloody Abigail, who has the attention span of a fly and all of a sudden was like "Nah, I have other, most likely walrus related, things to do."
Also the Captain seemed to have difficulties keeping his senses together. He started to pale up and asked to be dismissed.

I can not blame him. I guess the horrible air in this place was gnawing at all our sanity.



We kept on for the search of that succubi tit as we eventually climbed one of the tree branches and found an opening. I can not say what it was, but just standing there, gazing upon it... I think all of us got goosebumps. However, we marched on. A deadly mistake! Once we passed the entry, roots and vines behind us closed the way we came in. We were trapped with harpyies and even more changeling. But what really made us panic was the lack of air in this den! The stench already was painful enough, but unable to breath, feeling like drowning and choking... a true nightmare! Panicking we looked for an exit, and somehow, Junior Segur rammed his shoulders against a crumbling spot on the wall which led us to freedom. If it weren't for Junior Sally! The lack of oxygen made him fall into a state of delirium, as he laid on the floor, cowering and getting pecked by more harpyies.

We went back inside and got his arse out of there. Junior Vale would not have forgiven us if we left him there. But no Covian gets left behind!





Pickles and I evaluated our chances of success and we came to the conclusion to return here another time would be better. Aylmer complained about that we enjoyed it too much, igniting and shooting his mirrors, that the changelings took form of. However... The truth could not be more of the opposite. Shooting arrows at... "things" that looked like my comrades, yes even myself or my wife... And then getting attacked by the very same mirrors... It was truly frightening and one of my biggest nightmares. And seeing "their" corpses float in the swampy water...





Once outside, even the Yewish air was a bliss. And Junior Vale for sure didn't try to hide anymore that she and Junior Sally are indeed a couple.



We arrived home in Cove, where Pickles and I waived our share and distributed it under the remaining guardsmen. All except Thomas Aylmer donated their share of 4.500 coins.

We got a few bruises and a head pounding like hit by ten hammers, also a dizzy mind... But we survived, and we learned new things of these lands around us. Pickles and I are eager to see it all! She, for her knowledge and out of curiosity, and myself, because I'm the best damn huntress there is!

Signed by,

Leanne Martin-Melior, Regular Scout

and approved by,

Elizabeth 'Pickles' Martin-Melior, Arcanist Corporal

[Raiden Morana]

Good work everyone and fine report Me-Mar!

An' I got smashed in the face by that hydra thing! I shared a bunk with Demarian and Dell fer years, toxic gasses are nay new ter me!

*signed*


Raiden Morana, Captain.