“Ex Por.”

A spark of light flung itself from Veldrin’s fingertips toward the cell door. The lock sprang open with a loud metallic clunk, coughing out a puff of dust.

Effectively, the former Corporal was free.

Imprisoned for ‘murdering’ the Baron’s worthless dog, surely only torture and very possibly execution awaited her. The thought of a trial for an elf was laughable, particularly when the Baronship considered elves more animal than people, or worse, servants of the Guardian. Death was a high price to pay for such a petty crime, but such was the curse of her polluted blood. Not human and not drow either, Veldrin enjoyed the combined revulsion of both her peoples. To the Baron, she was nothing. To Sir Hugo, she was kindling. It amused them both to see her suffer, and for that they barely needed any reason.

But if the Baron truly though she had killed his hound, then he had all the reason he needed to throw a rousing public execution to unite the spirit of his people. Of course, she had killed dogs before. Horses, humans, dragons—her career with Cove was as lengthy as it was bloody.

But she hadn’t slain that stupid dog, so now Veldrin was furious. Had she been framed? Or was the Baron simply lazy, taking the opportunity to remove a lasting stain to Cove’s reputation?

They didn’t take your regs?! Shadwell. So observant.

Of course they hadn’t. Gimbly had shown Veldrin to her new home, and unfortunately the Grenadiers were more brawn than brains.

Veldrin could escape her fate now. Her violet eyes followed the flickering shadow of the bars against the light of the lantern in the corridor. There was a door outside just around the corner. The cell was unlocked. She could walk out at any time and save her own hide. She could even go to Vesper, or Trinsic, and give their leaders powerful information against Cove to avenge her disgrace.

“An Por.”

Another cough of dust. Another clang. The cell door was locked again. Just then, the Watchman guarding the cell had stumbled back in from outside, still doing up his trousers as he yawned. Imbecile.

“Oi, drow!” He rapped his gauntlet against the cell door. Veldrin bared her teeth and clenched a fist. “Stop bangin’ around in there! Why doncha cuddle up with Jules! I bet she’s lonely!” He bellowed a laugh as he sauntered back to his post at the table across the hall.

Veldrin glared at the dessicated skeleton lying amidst the hay and dirt in on the cell floor.

“I am still your superior, fool,” she hissed.

“Riight, of course… ma’am’.” At the sound of more laughter, the half-elf ground her teeth.

Cove had betrayed her. No one had risen her defense. Not a single word vouching for her honor, not even from the Arcanists. But leaving her cell now, and reducing that stinking Watchman to a pile of smoking cinders would unify Cove against her permanently. It was too great a risk. She still had something to lose… and possibly, something to gain.

Veldrin's fingertips brushed her insignia, marking her as a senior guardsman.

There was still a way out of this. There was still the Arcanist squad. Veldrin thought of Elizabeth Martin and the mage tower. If she played her cards carefully, she could walk away from this and keep her military badge. Treachery against Cove was far from her mind. Her friends were few, but she wasn't out of options yet.

*Directly beneath this notice, Veldrin has signed her name to serve as an example*

Veldrin Ni'harel, branded Arcanist

*The notice is pinned in the barracks, for all to see, Arcanist and otherwise.*

Men,

These are grave times in the North. Elves, servants of the Guardian, number greatly among us. Vesperian ride giant felines on the countryside and clothe themselves in strange materials. Our friends, the Yewians, practice foreign tactics to gain any advantage possible in preparation for the upcoming conflicts. Only the Avatar can keep us safe in these trying times.

Cove is long known for keeping spell flingers in service of the Avatar, but now more than ever we must be certain of where our loyalties lie.

IF YOU ARE A WITCH OR ARCANIST: Report thyself, and whether you possess a brand to mark your service to the Covian church.

If you do not possess a brand, you are to report this as well. All who refuse to answer will be subject to physical inspection.

IF YOU ARE A WITCH BUT NOT A MEMBER OF THE ARCANISTS: Report to Veldrin Ni'harel or Elizabeth Martin immediately.

IF YOU ARE A WITCH BUT NOT A MEMBER OF THE COVIAN ARMY: Report to Veldrin Ni'harel immediately.

IF YOU ARE NOT A WITCH: Watch this list for names you know to be missing. Report as much to an officer, privately. If you suspect one is lying about possessing a brand, report it to an officer.

Remember! The Avatar honors pain and sacrifice. Serve the Avatar and you will be rewarded.

*Signed with curiously aggressive script*
Veldrin Ni'harel, Arcanist Corporal

Covians,

I have seen you in action in recent weeks, and men, it is not a pretty sight. We have gotten complacent in recent years, and some of us, Tiberius, have gotten fat. Our form is terrible. Support on the battlefield is negligible. This cannot stand. I intend to correct this, or die trying. Or someone will die trying.

On the barracks roof, 1900 hours SHARP. I, Corporal Veldrin Ni'harel, WILL re-educate you. You WILL work as a team. There WILL be blood. There WILL be companionship. There WILL be victory.

FOR COVE!

-Veldrin Ni'harel
Arcanist Corporal

Is there a time for this or are we just hoping we all know when to show up? This is chaos.

*Signed*
Corporal Veldrin Ni'harel

Veldrin Ni'harel, reporting.

Is this truly all we have?

Pigeon: Veldrin#1154

Okay girls aren't just PIECES of MEAT to be IMPRESSED (that's satire btw).

There seems to be this social image of women being ALIENS.

If the public and media would stop making women seem like they're a different race and people just regarded one another as, maybe, PEOPLE, we'd all get along better. But for some reason people will still get sweaty palms when speaking to a person they are attracted to of the opposite gender, as if waiting for their head to be bitten off by a pair of monstrous jaws. They're human, the same as you.

That's all I need to rant about for now. Tune in for more on the next Love Advice from a Drow.

I also resolve to take more initiative and not expect others to do things for me.

I resolve to stop putting it off and get my driver's license already. I'm 21 and still bumming rides from my mom.

Damn! Foiled again!

Er... I mean... yeah! Boo France!

I'm not saying DOWN WITH TRAMMEL. Personally I dislike Felucca, and I've only been there once or twice. But you are in a guild warred with other guilds, and while you can follow the rules, some people may not. Be aware of this and act accordingly.

Remember that Command can only do so much to protect you. They can't prevent AFK killing, they can only punish the ones who do it and hope that it doesn't happen again (or happens less). It isn't their fault if you leave your character out in the open, and trying to blame them or the rules or ANYONE but yourself will get pretty much nothing accomplished.

Remember, only YOU can prevent forest fires.

Err... I mean losing your stuff from getting AFK-ganked.

So if you care so much about not having it killed, log out.

Wise words. I can't count the times I've seen Hrothgar or Raziel or another of his characters get killed while AFK, as he seems to leave them in the middle of a room or out in the open, just standing idly.

...Okay, actually I can count the times and it's 2. But I'm sure it's happened while I haven't been present. Every time he lost all of his gear. He could have avoided that if he just logged out.

I agree with garak... Rules are rules, and they are there for a reason... I don't wanna have to recall back home just to make a drink for half a minute then spent 2 trying to get back on

Let's not insult each other's intelligence by being pedantic. We're not talking about short bathroom breaks, getting a drink, or standing up for a minute to stretch and scratch your bum. If you're doing that, then it's easy enough to use the Hide skill. Even at zero hiding, if you have Mondain's Legacy, then you have 20 in every skill (if you're human) and you have a good chance of successfully hiding.

And before someome makes some tedious counterpoint about how you don't want to hide while there are other people around because it's bad roleplay, you probably don't HAVE to hide if you're going afk for only a minute or two if there are other people around.

Rules are rules, and you and I might be competent or considerate enough to follow them. But if you really THINK that some people don't just break the rules for their own enjoyment, then you're in for an unpleasant surprise. We can make rules and we can enforce them but we can't control everyone.

If you're going AFK to eat dinner or watch TV or lock yourself in the bathroom with unmentionable magazines, then log out. I'm not saying you have to recall home to do it, and I know it's SO HARD to spend that two minutes typing in your password to log in, but if you really think you should be safe just because there's a rule in place, and it's BoC's fault if you get killed, well you're wrong. BoC and Command aren't here to babysit your characters. If you decide to hang around AFK for an hour or two and you come back to find yourself killed, then maybe you shouldn't be hanging around afk for an hour or two.

However, AFK-ganking IS against the rules and the people who do it WILL be penalized. You CAN help us find the guy who did it and ensure he doesn't do it again. Open your Journal, and see if there's a name in there. If it says "DarkLink de Zephiroth is attacking you!" then you've got your man, and we can do our part to ensure that he won't do it again. However we can't stop new violators, and I'm sorry if you lose your gear, but it is preventable.

Really?  Well guess who mispelled "Dyslexic".

Haha.

Spelling "through" as "thru" and "though" as "tho" is shorthand, which has become frequently used on the internet. However I think I can count just as man EU-ians who've used those abbreviations as US-ians.

An intellectually stimulating response from our Gregor Eason, as usual.

Where WOULD we be without you.

Indeed a doctor of the type you've stated would not be able to diagnose someone with dyslexia.

My comment about doctors was pure satire. However the comment about getting a diagnosis, that was to prevent people claiming to have dyslexia when they didn't know what it was. You don't KNOW that you have dyslexia until a doctor says you do.

Dyslexia had no effect on how stupid or clever you are. Einstein was dyslexic.

Einstein also failed math class. He's starting to sound like a real nobody.

I did not say or even imply that dyslexia made you stupid. I was actually saying what it DID NOT make you. People who can't spell, who are lazy, and who are not good at English claim to have dyslexia. My point, as I clearly stated above, was that dyslexia did NOT make you those things and it was not an excuse for them.

I'll sue you for discrimination!

You HAVE been diagnosed, I don't see what your quarrel is!

Ultimately no one knows. To go off on one slightly i do personally feel that the "dyslexia situation" has been hyped to mad extremes at the moment.

If you ask me, I personally think it's another crackpot disorder that psychologists have cooked up. They're also diagnosing depression as a mental illness. ADD, that's crap too. LOVE will probably be a mental illness some day, I saw an article that did compare the chemical reactions of "love" in someone's body to a mental disorder.

The fact is that all men (and women) are NOT created equal. We're all different. We have different learning capabilities, we perceive the world differently, our bodies process things differently and everyone is just a LITTLE BIT imperfect. However we have to take these imperfections and slap names on them, and turn them into "disorders." These aren't diseases, people. They're just personality differences with names on them. There is no PERFECTLY NORMAL functioning human being, I can almost guarantee you that everyone has a "disorder" of some kind. And the fact that they take medication for it and a doctor tells them it's a disorder or an illness or a disability only makes them hide behind these fancy names instead of putting effort into trying to be a capable, responsible human being and correcting their flaws.

A woman was classified as inadequately prepared to care for a foster child because she had a history of mental illness. What illness was that? Depression. Why was she depressed? HER HUSBAND OF TWENTY-FIVE YEARS PASSED AWAY some years ago and she was SAD for a while. How is THAT a mental disorder? Depression is not a disorder, it's a state of mind influenced by outside factors. Just because medication "works" for it doesn't mean that the medication is FIXING you, it's just managing your hormones so you don't FEEL sad.

Some people have more trouble paying attention than others. I have excellent spelling skills because it's just innate to me. Pretty soon there will be a Bad Spelling Disorder to explain the people who aren't exceptional.

The whole idea behind these tedious mental disorders is messed up bull honky and shouldn't be given any mind. The 21st century just comes up with more and more incredulous tripe.

Many people claim to have dyslexia.

Many BoC members, many other UO players, many other people in this vast SUPER HIGHWAY OF INFORMATION THAT IS THE INTARNIT claim to have it. I have met more people than I CAN COUNT who have claimed to have it as an excuse for spelling mistakes or typographical errors. Because we ALL know that humans can't simply make MISTAKES. OH NO. These days there has to be some sort of MENTAL DISORDER behind it.

Get nervous talking before a crowd? Anxiety disorder. Can't pay attention in class? ADD. Prone to mood swings and being nice one minute than a total jerk the next? Bipolar disorder. Feeling down after your spouse dies? Depression. Keep spelling "Octiovus" wrong? Dyslexia.

I'm not saying that these disorders don't exist. All of them have been MEDICALLY DOCUMENTED so there's no CHANCE of them being total HOOEY, right? But that's not my point.

I simply ask: How many people who claim to have dyslexia... actually know what it is?

By my count: not very many.

Dyslexia is a LEARNING DISABILITY (not dissimilar to Down's syndrome or autism). It is a MENTAL DISORDER. It is a condition that must be diagnosed by a medical doctor. A MEDICAL DOCTOR. Egotistical, white coat-wearing DREGS who spent the better part of a decade in SCHOOL learning ANATOMY and dissecting human CORPSES, which qualifies them to deduce from evidence and tests that you have the disorder, the DISABILITY called dylexia which affects around 15% of the population.

15% of the population. As stated by the National Intitutes of Health.

No no, that doesn't sound accurate to me. Judging from people I have met on the INTERNET, who have vast credibility and about six to twelve years of PUBLIC SCHOOL under their belt, I'd say it's more around 70%.

So, what IS dyslexia, exactly? Come on Veldrin, we could already deduce that it was a learning disability and a mental disorder, stop being such a wisecrack and tell us what dyslexia IS, if you think you're so smart.

Well first, let me state what it's not. Let me state what many people use it as an excuse for. Dyslexia is not an excuse for stupidity. Dyslexia is not an excuse for common misspellings. Dyslexia is not an excuse for laziness. Dyslexia is not an excuse for grammatical mistakes. And dyslexia is not an excuse for not being very good at English (or other languages). All of the preceding are common human error.

Dyslexia is (said to be) a condition or learning disability which causes difficulty with reading and writing.

By "said to be," I mean that it's highly debated about whether it actually exists. Many claim that it's nothing but a mythological construct as it's not medically similar to other learning disabilities. But let's assume for now that it is real.

Let me repeat myself: Dyslexia causes difficulty with reading and writing. Writing and reading. AND READING. Of all the poor, suffering dyslexics I've met, I don't think ANY OF THEM have had difficulty with reading. Oh they read JUST FINE. But they make common spelling errors and REFUSE to TRY to correct them because they are DYSLEXIC.

Difficulty with WRITING is common. For example, I often mix up lettres or syllalybles, combine words like behign (being and behind) or, in typing, pu tspaces int oo early or late.

No one is a LITTLE dyslexic. No one gets dyslexic when they're TIRED or being LAZY.

It took me WEEKS to figure out how to spell "Octiovus" right on the first try, without spelling "Octovius" or "Octiovous" or "Octavius." I spelled it wrong all the time. But instead of using DYSLEXIA as a crappy excuse to not even try, I put actual EFFORT into getting it right and now I can spell Octiovus Octiovus Octiovus Octiovus Octiovus many many times in a row without spelling it wrong. This is not because I am SUPER HUMANLY INTELLIGENT (although we all know that I am anyway), but because HUMAN ERROR is common and CAN be corrected.

DYSLEXIA is not the same as making the same common typos everyone else makes, or messing up on the same word every single time. DYSLEXIA presents difficulty writing, reading, and sometimes seeing or hearing. I have not met a SINGLE INTARWEB NAVIGATIONOR who has had difficulty reading as well as spelling.

So the next time anyone claims to have DYSLEXIA without it being diagnosed by some CRACK doctor, they're being DISHONORABLY DISCHARGED from the army and demoted to TRAMP.

That is all. This work of satire, insults, and facts has been brought to you by Veldrin Incorporated. Remember, "You are all imbeciles who vill get zhe pain and suffering you deserve!"

Addendum: Keep any personal insults, profanity, and obscene comments to yourself. Flaming is not tolerated and may result in bannings, glorious bannings.