Well the time has finally come where I resigned from the covian military, Granted there's no such scheme in place I "Deserted" after putting in all that hard work to only be kicked in the teeth I had no other choice.

Given the current alliance the yewish have also chose to deny my presence on their land which I cannot really blame them for after all it could jeopardise the alliance, On a more positive note before those final events unfolded young footman lariss stumbled into stonekeep heavily wounded being carried by a footman, I immediately stepped in and suggested we took her someplace dry and out of the rain.

Firstly I started by inspecting her wounds managing to find a nasty cut across her head I proceeded to sterilised the wound by soaking a clean bandage in whisky then brushed it across the cut, I then wrapped another bandage around the wound to keep it from further contamination, the lass bit me during the process I don't blame her it must have been painful.

I do not yet know where my journey will take me i firstly plan to return to my roots in jhelom and learn more of my long passed family.

Tonight I was reinstated as a full Watchman yet the title feels worthless as I am not here for glory, I was not so long ago adamant to be reinstated but harsh realisations whilst soul searching led me to the conclusion it was a worthless push.

Nor am I driven by gold I have a tidy retirement stash from my deeds on the side so from now I may aswell donate to the coffers as those boots ain't free.

I know not what the future holds, no sense of duty no need for pride. I shall just grapple my fate and be along for the ride.

[Many moons]

Many moons since that day where kins blood was shed.

Many moons since I lost the control of my head.

Many moons may heal the external scars of the past.

Many moons alas many moons the internal scars shan't pass.

Many moons for reckoning soul seeking and repentance.

Many moons of guilt almost an everlasting sentence.

Many moons of borrowed days living on time overdue.

Many moons age the flesh scarring the innocence of youth.

Many moons of residing in a torn land driven by greed.

Many moons many grudges too many mouths to feed.

Many moons of hunger and thirst left unquenched.

Many moons of dwelling amongst the stench of death.

Many moons bring new faces fresh meat for the grinder.

Many moons will pass the mourning reminder.

Many moons standing strong yet shivering in the cold.

Many moons standing fragile yet dazed by the warmth.

Many moons ahead and more so following.

Many moons many families stolen from under the context of borrowing.

Many moons many quills too many men lost too many chills are tingling.

Many moons without a path a journey of longing begins to feel like lingering.

Today for the first time I stumbled into vesper under my true identity a truly risk proposition given my exile and the possibility of a bounty on my head, In the name of peace I took it upon myself to seek them out to offer my apologies for the past treachury I had committed against them.

I was escorted by armed guards to the border but upon an odd stroke of luck rimeny called to me asking me to accompany him, Firstly I thought darn this is where it ends thinking my fate was bound for the cells followed by an execution.

Instead I was escorted to the redguard armory where the other guards were told to stand outside whilst me and rimeny discussed the matters at hand, He let me know that the exile still stands and that vesper shall not forget my misdeeds so easily but also that he and escaflowne shall be discussing the terms of my exile.

If it was under better circumstances I'm sure we would have had a nice chat and catch up but given the nature of the meet such things weren't feasible, we shook hands and I was asked to leave vesperian soil.

I await correspondence from the commander regarding what we discussed in hopes that the terms of redacting my exile don't place me in a jeopardising situation, it'll be nice to get closure on a few stones left unturned by my sudden exile from vesper and perhaps I'll finally learn some truths that I have sought for many moons.

*this letter is ooc unless your a member of the church*

Dear Father.
A time ago you tasked me with honing Squire Mordreds blade, so upon receiving the task i ventured to many dangerous locations with the young squire to show him where I once honed my skills in combat.

The squire was an absolute natural he did not fear nor tarry in his convictions when faced with evil, He unsheathed his blade and began to unleash righteous fury only after a short time into his training he began to seek out these monsters alone to further hone his blade.

Proof is in the pudding I say the young squire is now a fine swordsman and if my services are required again do not hesitate to request father.

Signed, Chelly Rothsmire

Upon sobering I am starting to enjoy life once again seeing the beauty in the small things, Just this afternoon I stopped by altmere sat on the grass and appreciated the flowers and my surroundings almost too much as I woke up shortly after, turns out I was that relaxed I dozed off.

Too proceed with another positive I went on a hunt led by pickles today ilyana and charas were along also, We had a riot bashing foe after foe bonding slightly in the process.

The lass I once thought was nothing but a potential threat turned out to be a very kind soul who's intentions seem to be mainly driven by her desire to support her friends, truly I didn't think I'd find her so enjoyable to be around turns out judging a book based off its cover isn't the way to be.
 

*Wakes up covered in blood with nothing but her journal, her mace and a massive hangover *

Last night I made the grave mistake of venturing around some of sosarias more remote bizarre taverns, Along the way I met a variety of travellers and taints knocking back mystery drinks I were bought one after another.

Slowly I started to lose control more and more of myself, Not sure these beverages were just standard liquors that's taints for you, I recall nothing of the night past starting to glug from a tankard in skara brea.

.... Suddenly I woke up in a dim odourous room unaware of my surroundings or were I'd ended up, I stumbled tenderheaded towards a door prized it open with my trusty mace only to be greeted by a large demon, I retreated back into the room gathered myself as much as possible then charged headfirst out of the door clubbing the demon in the noggin.

It's dazed state gave me a window of opportunity to leg it out of this place, Running as fast as I could towards a glimmer of light I'd spotted I made my way outside, upon glancing at my surroundings I came to the realization I'd been here before this was fire Island and that dank cesspool I'd escaped wer Hythloth.

From this day I shall not touch another drop of alcohol there's no chance I'm risking myself like this again, I may not be so lucky next time therfore sobriety is a safety mechanism I shall adopt.

I ehh went to the swaggers with the uniform you left me the minute I recieved your raven dwarfAralin, we drank and were asked some bizarre questions one strange lass seem to have an obsession with father Hugo, Honestly I think she may have a painting of him on her wall *snorts*.

Me an sward sparred a bit with the vesperians some actually had some surprisingly good tactics and combat prowess, Looks like the war didn't just toughen us up.

At the end of the night me an tibby escorted axi home only to get split up due to some interfering monk showing up babbling nonsense, Though I trust the capable hands of tiberius led them home safe and sound back to cove.

Signed, Untrusted Watchman, Chelly Rothsmire

Often I find myself pushed to denounce my heritage, You are "Covian" is the label I often sustain, The truth is that is not me or my identity I'm a soldier of the barons army which is based in cove aye.

I do not consider this my home or these my people, Nonetheless I would lay down my life for the majority and for the baron himself, But this still does not make me a "Covian".

Nothing reiterates my unwelcome presence in the land better than the fact my reinstatement is yet to come, I've found this off duty time hasnt stopped me performing my duty as the badge that's rests on my sash is proof of my efforts.

Employment comes and goes upon the time I retire or the army disbands I'll first and foremost always be Jhelomian, mere words will not change who I am.

Everything seems alien to some of these folk, The mere sight of a gargoyle has them in a defensive state, Granted I distrust gargoyles and most races personally but surely they are not all of ill intentions.

Despicable acts carried out in the name of the avatar are a frequent occurance, Young footman art being an example of this in his simple mind he saw his actions as a sin so felt the need to confess, Yet they saw this as a mere ridicule and punished him for his attempt.

Heresy is often selective and frequently ignored aslong as you keep your acts out of the vision of the servants of the church.

Excuses can if planned out with enough thought buy your way out of many situations.

Laughing off your sins and living a carefree live is easy, If you have those too turn a blind eye to your actions though this is not a bashing of the church they do righteous work, But there motivations aren't always as clear as you'd think.

Prying eyes who stumble upon this journal may perceive my words in there own way, But until that happens I'll take quill to parchment documenting my thoughts and experiences, in hopes they prove of use to unguided minds.

There's a point where it tips, there's a point where it breaks
There's a point where it bends and a point we just can’t take
Anymore.
There's a line that we’ll cross and there’s no return;
There's a time and a place, no bridges left to burn anymore
We can’t just wait with lives at stake
Until they think we’re ready.
Our enemies are gathering
The storm is growing deadly.

Now it's time to say goodbye.
To the things we loved and the innocence of youth
How the time seemed to fly.
From our carefree lives and the solitude and peace we always knew.

There's a day when we’ll fight and we’re not gonna fall.
There's a day when we’ll stand.
And a day when we won’t crawl anymore.
There’s a moment in time and there’s no going back
When we’re pushed too hard and we won’t hold our attack
Anymore.
We can’t just cling to childish things
As evil just grows closer.
Humanity’s in jeopardy
This fight is far from over.

Now it's time to say goodbye.
To the things we loved and the innocence of youth
With a doubt in our minds.
Why we chose this life and at times we can’t help wondering...

Were we born to fight and die?
Sacrificed for one huge lie?
Are we heroes keeping peace?
Or are we weapons
Pointed at the enemy.
So someone else can claim a victory?

Now it's time to say goodbye.
To the things we loved and the innocence of youth
How the time seemed to fly.
From our carefree lives and the solitude and peace we always knew.

How many days have passed like this?
The city the crowd is fading, moving on
I sometimes have wondered where you've gone
Story carries on, lonely lost inside
I had this dream so many times
The moments we've spent have passed and gone away
Could there be an end to this, what I'm feeling deep inside
You know there's no looking back

Glassy sky above
As long as I'm alive you will be part of me
Glassy sky, the cold, the broken pieces of me

The mystery of it I recall
Suddenly the truth will change the way we fall
I didn't want to hurt you, hope you know
Empty promises, shattered dreams of love
Sometimes I wonder what's beyond
I tried many times to make it up to you
Can somebody tell me what to do
Thought we're meant to be, there's no going back
Time has already come, sun is gone and no more shadows
Can't give up, I know, and this life goes on
I'll be strong, I'll be strong till I see the end

Glassy sky above
As long as I survive you will be part of me
Glassy sky the cold, the broken pieces of me
Glassy sky above, covers over me, over me.

Learning to live again.

Breaking the accursed mindset.

Clinging onto humanity.

A relieved sigh for sanity.

Focused on forging bonds.

Rather than shattering them.

Honing my war axe.

For things other than vengeance.

Fighting for others.

Expelling concerns of thyself.

No longer taking this sitting down.

Excited for times of joy.

Evading the burdens of sorrow.

It's finally the time.

I go to sleep.

Dreaming of tomorrow.

No more despair and nightmares.

No more favours overdrawn.

It isn't the time for reflecting.

Or for feelings of scorn.

They'll never be a better time.

To renew one's guiding virtues.

For a day with improvements.

Is the path that I choose.

Heart as warm as a pyre.

Smile as wide as a boat.

Wait did that officer just strap a bow to a goat.

I attended mainly kept an eye out for suspicious visitors, me and Regular Scout, Sergio managed to route out an unwanted guest in a hooded robe.

Also thankfully nobody consumed anything from the gift bag of food you recieved I ehh dipped into it out of hunger,turns out everything was laced with poison, So I took it to the forest and cremated it.

Signed, Chelly Rothsmire

Blood doesn't wash away.

Sins cannot be undone.

Lies cannot be untold

My mind never ceases to unfold.

Torn between reality and insanity.

An ethereal twist.

Hurtling onwards on a ball.

Flowing through time and space.

Which is the true me.

The smiley carefree face.

That beholder dwells within.

Lost dreams of beauty and grace.

Losing feeling through dust and shade.

I swore I wouldn't fade.

For tomorrow we go to battle.

Thinking will this be my last raid.

Sunny shores blood red sands.

I defiled this nation.

With my own two hands.

Life essence drained away.

Ever repeating that day.

Did they deserve it.

Was it truly in service.

An ever lasting guilty crown.

The slaughter of a desert town.

Sick games I chose to play.

Shall haunt me till my dying day.

I have completed the task you set sir.

Firstly I started by venturing to the lost land's delucia passage as I know it too be a hotspot for phoenix's well ehh and dread spiders , Can't say they was an easy combination to combat but I pulled through and walked away with 288 feather's.

Secondly I ventured over to umbra's dank dark forest's to hunt for reaper's too my luck they were plentiful although there was a lot of drakes and other heretical creature's around I plonked over 250 logs from those rattily tree fiends in the end I managed to whittle together 266 crossbow bolt's.

Gold Obtained 6954



Signed , Chelly Rothsmire