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Author Topic: Darek's Guide to Suicide  (Read 2389 times)
Linaeus
Cove Command
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Posts: 2162


Not the Commander.


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« on: September 02, 2009, 04:45:29 am »

Leading: Darek Milako, Regular Grenadier
Attending: Aliryl Truffleworld, Scout Corporal
                 Tom'Tom Alymer, Junior Guardsman
                 Buttons "Delferium", Junior Grenadier
                 Bersi, Watchman
                 Abigail "is awesome" Keres, Guardsman Recruit



Darek was rambling about something silly like getting a Balron Jaw with which to fashion a new door handle, and something about how recruits dont die enough, so he decided that he was going to fix both of these problems at once. At this point I tried to escape by changing myself into a chicken, but the spell malfunctioned and instead I teleported myself into line.

It was most distressing.

Next thing I knew, we were going toe to toe with a Balron! We killed one, and then another one appeared. This time we werent so lucky, and it beat the crap out of all of us everyone except me. However, I dropped my reagent bag! So, while everyone else skirmished with the Balron like sissies, I grabbed my trusty piece of wood (formerly the Company parade arm) and began savagely beating an imp.

Upon the imp's demise, I liberated a simple axe and a scroll of healing from it and, after healing the minor injuries incurred in my epic struggle against the imp, was overcome by a sudden feeling of awesomeness.

I promptly hacked off one of the Balron's toes.

Aylmer returned with a spare pouchfull of reageants, and, using my awesome powers of the arcane, I (with the help of Bersi and Tommy) vanquished the Balron with three simple words of power; Kal Vas Flam. Victory was ours. Recruits had died, and Darek had a new doorhandle! We decided to head deeper into the dungeon.

It was at this point that a golden blood elemental set upon us, overpowered us, and stole all of our belongings. We got spare armor and weapons, but it took those too. It even took my leggings and boots. We cut up our kilts to provide extra bandages for Buttons. But it was to no avail - we were unable to vanquish the golden-blooded foe.

We only got around 10,000 gold. The elemental took the rest. It all went to the coffers.

*signed sadly, with a stickfigure sketch of the carnage resulting from the discovered of the golden blood elemental*
Abigail Keres, Guardsman Recruit
« Last Edit: September 02, 2009, 07:19:21 pm by Linaeus » Logged



Torrak: As far as I'm concerned, though, EA is just unauthorized modding BoC.
Darek Milako
Have No Fear, Darek The Great is here!
Baron's Own Grenadier
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Ah Love Teh Ladies, An' Teh Ladies Love Teh Bronze


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« Reply #1 on: September 02, 2009, 06:05:34 am »

Recruits DON'T die enough..... Oh well that was just the practice run for the one you missed out on tonight Recruit Keres! We dominated the golden Blood thing. Bwahaha. I like to type out my evil laughs!

~Quickly Signed~
Regular Grenadier Darek "Teh Great" Milako
Aka Darek "Recruit Sacraficer" Milako
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Darek Milako II: wow dude u look like a pornstar with that mustache!
Ogden Seaborne: Thank you kindly!
Darek Milako II: An' wha's wit' tha' 'at!
Darek Milako II: Ye' look like a rapist!
Aliryl
Dead Elfie
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« Reply #2 on: September 02, 2009, 11:09:41 am »

It is Trefynwyd!!  I do not know how you humans manage to make such an mess at writing people's names.

Fortunatly I exited with out losing anything and aided the others in regaining their gear several times.

*signed neatly*
Aliryl Trefynwyd
Scout Corporal
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