Battle training report
Led by: Regular Scout Jennifer Feather.
Attended by: Regular Guardsman Kas Valentine, Watchman Regdar, Watchman Edmund Rufus, Junior Scout Ben Radau, Watchmistress Leloo.
Since our spirits were so high after Regdar's recent patrol of the shire Miss Feather decided to take advantage and order us upstairs for a session of battle tactics. Upon hearing that we were going to be fighting against one another I expressed my excitement and braced myself.
Kas displaying patent overexcitement.
Once the guardsmen (or guardsman) had calmed down Miss Feather went to to describe what we would be doing, how we would be doing it and why she had chosen this particular evening. Regdar and Edmund were elected as team captains and the selection begun !
Hey you can't have him as a captain, he has a beard !
Once the selection was over our leader assigned us names and roles. The teams looked a little like this;
Heroes of Cove;
Kas Valentine - "Shadwell"
Regdar - "Gregor Eason"
Leloo - "Erik Arkay"
Stinkers of the Cesspit*;
Edmund Rufus - "Odenetheus"
Hoagie - "Captain Grog-a-log-a-logger"
Ben Radau - "Michael Mage"
(
*It must be noted that I wasn't entirely certain of the opposing team's names).
Unfortunately our assigned Erik Arkay decided to sneak off but Miss Feather stepped into his shoes and gave us a worthy replacement.
I don't think he's coming back !
With the teams in line Miss Feather gave us a quick review of the rules of battle;
Jennifer Feather: "Alright the aim of the
Stinkers of the Cesspit is to knock Eason off his feet, while the
Heroes of Cove must do their very best to keep him standing. I'll give you a few moments to discuss tactics and then we can begin. I must mention however that bleeding, poisoning and mortal striking are forbidden."
Jennifer accidentally reads her rulebook upside down.
The battle commenced.....
E-bolts sizzled through the air into peoples faces.
Axes swept the feet from under unsuspecting victims.
Teeny little daggers were shoved into armpits.
Healing enchantments were applied with uncertain fingers.
But once the dust cleared the
Heroes of Cove secured a well deserved victory.
Oooooh ouchy, that's going to leave a mark.
The
Stinkers of the Cesspit got back into formation and Miss Feather explained what would happen next.
Defend and defend well.
Unfortunately due to some sudden unforeseen circumstance the scoundrels belonging to
Stinkers of the Cesspit managed to keep Odenetheus on his feet while the
Heroes of Cove set about attacking them. However the round was dismissed due to an anonymous man making one of his opponents bleed.
Another round was held in which the legendary
Heroes of Cove dispatched their foe with swift moves and claimed a second victory. Afterwards a different kind of battle was held, we were to defeat whoever was directly opposite us using any means necessary.
But he's got a beard, he's hiding a weapon under there !
Jennifer Feather: "COMMENCE, take those buggers to the cleaners."
Once more the clattering din of battle could be heard from the rooftop of the barracks.
E-bolts were passed between mages like shimmering jewels.
Warriors traded axe swipes like so many tasty pie crusts.
Regdar took on countless opponents with courage that would shame a grizzly bear.
Soon enough the battle had ended and much to the shame of the
Heroes of Cove victory had been cruelly snatched by the
Stinkers of the Cesspit.
Ben gets confused over the question of Jennifers sex.
In order to drown any feelings of resentment Miss Feather promptly followed this crushing defeat with a jolly old free for all. The fighting was fierce (with more of the flying e-bolts and cheeky axe blowing) but eventually Hoagie emerged as the victor and we were ordered back into line.
Jennifer Feather: "Bloody good work the lot of you. Should the day come when every single resident of Yew descends upon our doorstep, we will be well prepared. Consider yourselves dismissed!"
The end of an era.
Confident in their ability to fight in battle the guardsman wandered off to see to various pressing duties.
State of the guardsmen; Ready for battle.
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