Inquisitor's Horoscopes!

[Odenetheus]

Odenetheus scoffed, and muttered a curse. "What am I supposed to do with all this heretical rabble?", he wondered. "A-ha, I shall keep their pathetic minds busy with paltry games and mad foresights!"

[OOC.: I'll add a new batch o' horoscopes each day. I hope y'enjou them... and if not, UP YOURS! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *Mad inquisitor cackle(TM)*

The laughing mongbat20/4):
Word of the day: Banzai!
 Sharpen those filthy claws of yours, and get to fightin'! There's a neverending amount of foul yewians (I wonder if we're still enemies, OOC remark..) to be shredded to tiny, itsy-bitsy pieces!

The insane reaper (21/4-21/5):
Word of the day: Glub
All reapers out there, beware! There's malicious, yes downright evil, pools of water out there, so beware! Gear up, use protective wear and goggles if going outdoors today, and most important, watch out for those slippery ponds of muddy goo!

The decrepit ettin (22/5-21/6):
Word of the day: Hoo-hah!
You are invincible, dear ettin!. You are unstoppable, marvellous ettin! Or at least that's what you thought before encountering that mean-looking chicken. They might look harmless, but when endangered, they can beat the most seasoned veteran into a pulp, so keep your distance. Unless you're suicidial, that is. *Snicker.*

The ravenous tradesman (22/6-22/7):
Word of the day: Conclusion
Perhaps you shouldn't have sold those low-quality swords to the underworld...

The haughty recruit (23/7-23/8):
Word of the day: Whiplash
Injuries can be fatal, or they can be pleasant (Oh, behave!), in this case, the Inquisitorial Times advise you to not mock superiors. Such as calling them C.W.. They never like that. *Cackle.* Avoid small spaces and physical exertion.

The crisp-burnt rat (24/8-23/9):
Word of the day: Shiiiiiiiny
Oh, my. Poor rat, you really ought to avoid suspicious-looking mushrooms in the future. Your day will be filled with adventures, dangerous monsters and sparkly colours. And screams. Most likely your screams as your dull senses get woken up by a wyvern munching on your legs.

The catatonic swamp-goo (24/9-23/10):
Word of the day: Hysterical
'oooo! Don't let the liche have my soul! Eep! Don't let the corporal flog me to death! Gyah! Help meeeeee!' - Calm down, swamp-goo, and take a deep breath. What, no, of course we haven't poisoned the air you're breathing! *Sigh.*

The rabid mongbat (24/10-22/11):
Word of the day: Lecherous
Today all mongbats out there are feeling extra amorous, abandoning their spouses, fiances and, quite possibly, pillows, in order to get some extra lub. We suggest staying indoors for all creatures in this zodiac, as to avoid being smashed down to size by enraged partners.

The hopping bear (23/11-21/12):
Word of the day: Pokey
Stand aside, mortals, for it is poking time! Prod and poke all you want, bear, but remember, poking a daemon lord is hazardous to your health!

The considerate hell hound (22/12-20/1)
Word of the day: Cuisine
Your cooking skills are unequalled, hell hound, and you're taking advantage of this! Use those extraordinary abilities of yours to gain that last step on the promotional staircase, or soothen the scarred soul of that enraged rabbit following your scent after you used its kin to make your dinner.

The unnoticed dolphin-trawler (21/1-18/2):
Word of the day: Invisible
You are unseen today, and this can be very useful indeed! Steal secret documents and sell them to the highest bidder, spy on your hated rivals or just slack off and enjoy the show as the whole community is searching for you.

The rampant illiterate
Word of the day: Cauldron
Witches are NOT your friends... unless, obviously, you are one yourself, but that's another matter. Avoid contact with all scrawny-looking old women and stay far away from all giner-bread cottages.

[Conan Darkmoon]

 Good idea Odentheus sir!

 *Signed* Conan Darkmoon