Brosh! Siht ahruuwnd za ghash agh gūr jabat ash shum jabi abuwt ghash, breehdhing agh olyjmpihgs!
[Hail! Sit around the fire and i will tell you a great story about fire, breeding and olympigs!]
Gūr agh Xnath, ash urukku, gu u Kobve u ahvendj gūriob mat uruki! Matatuga shum tarki! Gūri conogatuga! Ti SHUM! Shum throki!
[Me and Xnath, an old orc, went to Cove to avenge our dead orcs! Killed many humans! We trespass! is GREAT! Much food!]
Gūri gimbatuga za urukiob arti, nar thrakat, pagog dhoor ti lohkked. Pagog.
[We find the orcs' gold, don't take, stupid door is locked. Stupid.]
Gūri snoshatuga ash stauchur dar! Ghash! Shum ghash! Gūri ghashatuga ta!
[We smell a hobbit house! Fire! Much fire! We set fire to it!
Gūri gimbatuga ash "lighthouse," ash pagog tark dar. Ghashatuga ŪK!
[We find a lighthouse, a stupid human house. Set fire to ALL!]
Gūri ghashatuga za pagog pok agzash! Za burg ti pagog agh pauatuga raz dru! Pagog!
[We set fire to the stupid fortifications too! The fort is stupid and made of wood! Stupid!]
Gūri ghashatuga ash muuhr pagog dar! Ti shum!
[We set fire to one more stupid house! is great!]
Urur! Gūri gimbatuga ash "phark." Nar ghashatuga, pauatuga ta uruk stajhl! Ti shum!
[But! We find a "park." Don't set fire to it, make it orc style! is great!]
Gūri zen vrapogatuga bahkk u za dari. Wayjt ūr muuhr uruki agh gimbatuga za "olyjhmpihg" ishi Bezpurk! Grim'zlog gimbatuga
ash būb, nar za olyjmpihg." Nar shum! Gūri gimbatuga za stauchur! Gūr whunt za ūr gūrob dihnnur, urur za pagog, shematut skessi za ti tarki rogtarat za. Nar shum! Muuhr plahnningk nihdehd! Gūr habve ash SHUM rehszhipyj ūr stauchur! Uruki leabve, nar ghed matatuga!]
[We then marched back to the houses. Wait for more orcs and then find the "Olympig" in Vesper! Grim'zlog found a pig, not the olympig. Not great. We find the hobbit! i want it for my dinner, but the stupid, ugly trollops that are humans guard it. Not great! More planning needed! i have a GREAT recipe for hobbit! Orcs leave, not get killed!]
Gūr whunt u bhreehdh, zuh, gūr gu u Stuuhnkihp ishi Yew. Ti pagog pleyze, urur gūr 'eard raz "Lahryjnda," ash burzillid gugatug dere! Nar brhreehd wib ash burzillid befuur! Gūr pauat ash kuhnninkt plahn! Gūr diszhgaize ahz munk, ghashatuga za tauvhurn, trikk za pagog burzillid u gu ishidar, lohkk za pagog burzillid ishidar, wheyjt ūr za smohk u pauat ta fheyjnt... Den BHREEHDH!
[i want to breed, so, i go to Stonekeep in Yew. is stupid place, but i heard of Larynda, a dark elf, lives there! Not bred with a dark elf before! i make a cunning plan! i disguise myself as a monk, set fire to the tavern, trick the stupid dark elf to go inside, lock the stupid dark elf inside, wait for the smoke to make her faint... Then BREED!
Obvfcuurz, plahn wurhk! Nar feyjl!
[Of course, plan worked! Didn't fail!]
[OOC: An orc lies. Also, they're capable of hatching plans for hunting hobbits and runaway elves. Beware.]
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