'Twas a day of trouble and strife in the lands of Cove and Yew, beginning with an Avatarian Mass in which many new Church faces were announced - or at least we think so, it is hard to tell with the helms. Church Servant 'Silly Ily' Drachen continued to display a lack of remorse for heinous crimes, and was tied to the pyre for all to gawp, point and laugh at! Truly an instructive example for the Covian youth!
After tending to their spiritual needs, the Covian Army gathered to watch on as Watchman Tinglesworth 'The Untrusted' once again reaffirmed her title as the Baronship's biggest liability, receiving 10 lashes for disobeying Captain Morana's orders not to move the Yewish prisoner, Nadia. The Guardian's power over her unruly hair was offered as an explanation for her actions.
The dessert in this buffet of woes was the trial of former Waywatcher Corporal Nadia Smith, who was accused of the attempted murder of fellow Yewish Guardsman Aries 'Honeypot' Harper. The trial had many twists and turns! Salacious love scandals! Betrayal and heartbreak! Long, long, long winded technical explanations - and an attempt by a Trinsican to speak, which was immediately denied by all present. With the honourable judge Sir Hugo delivering the final verdict, the wayward Waywatcher was given a choice between demotion to the rank of untrusted trainee - or dishonourable discharge from the Militia. She opted for the latter, clearly trying to top Tinglesworth in the league tables of military treachery!
It was further decreed that Rookie Aries 'Honeypot' Harper and Captain Raiden 'Fancy' Morana had six weeks to formalise their relationship into a marriage, cementing to eternal alliance of friendship between Cove and Yew! A happy ending to a day of grave misdeeds!
OTHER NEWS:
Local Fossil Causes Thousands of Gold in Damages to Goblin:
Still celebrating his recent Armsmaster victory, Tiberius 'Axe Loon' Kane used his ill-gotten access to the alcohol stocks of the Green Goblin, plying Covian, Yewian and Vesperian alike with booze totalling thousands! Several rare vintage bottles are believed to have been lost in the bender. He was last seen fleeing the scene dressed in the garb of a Yewish Captain.
RUMOURS:
§ Could the marriage of Raiden and Aries be the beginning of a summer of love in Cove? Watchman Sheriam Palmer has been sighted leaving fellow Watchman Garshinklepop's 'love shack'!
§ Drunkenness now so rampant in Cove that 3 taverns are operating simultaneously! Brewers rub their hands with glee!
§ Restless dead more restless than ever! The seemingly unstoppable torrent of the skinless horrors continues to menace the citizens of Cove! Who will save us!?
WHO WILL BE PUNISHED NEXT!?
WHO WILL BE RAIDEN'S BEST MAN!?
FIND OUT IN THE NEXT ISSUE OF THE COVETOWNE GAZETTE! COVE'S MOST ALE SOAKED NEWS SOURCE!
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