** Sweat poured off his brow, as Banedon sat back, relieved to be back within the confines of his forge, he slowly recovered his wits, and began to write a report based on his adventures the day before**
Hail Miss Izzy.
Ye have asked me to keep ye aware of my exploits within Cove, and yesterday falls under that ruddy ‘eadin…
Yesterday started like all others..
I wus in ma forge 'avin jus fix'd the shield of a guard, so I thought to meself, ill nip over to em barracks and deliver it. I grabbed a few belongin's, and made the trek northwest. I 'ad a brief run-in with a some big fat brute o a bugger, on the way, but fortunately I can run fast, and it coudn'......
I got to em baracks, to find a load of the guards stood outside with some hoighty toighty bugger on a 'orse ramblin on. As I approached, dat bugger on the 'orse called me over and thanked me for attending, saying my service would be acknowledged. What was 'e on about, all I done was fix a ruddy shield ?
Anyways Miss, I stood there looking at the guards 'opin ta see the one whose shield I got, but 'e wasnt there. So with a sigh I prepared to leave. But wouldn you know it, dat bugger on the 'orse asked me if I would go wit’ em guards and 'elp em in Britian.
'Ow could I refuse, I need the trade. So I went wit’ dem.
Dem guards all started runnin to the moongate, but wouldn you know it, the gits lef' me behind. Lef' me alone in dem woods with all manner o nasty bugger in dem.
"Sod this" I Said, "I aint bein’ no fat buggers dinner".
I looked in my runebook and found a markin for Britian, so calling on the power of the book, I transferred to Britian. I arrive mere moments before em guards came runnin past, all gaspin' and pantin'. I couldn' 'elp but grin, as they ran past me.
I aint no guard, why should I run like a ruddy 'orse ??
Anyways, just inside the city of Britian, em guards stopped.
There wus a small tower o sorts, and they decided to make it a makeshift base.
Dat git on tha' 'orse ad us all line up, and gave us our orders.
I got saddled with group two, who had the ruddy nerve to complain..
"Sir, 'ave I got to take the Civvie ?"
"Aye, you got the grenadier, so you get the handicap too"
With that, e’ buggered off....
"Handicap!!!" I shouted after im, "Ill gi’ you ruddy handicap, next time your ruddy armor falls off"
This seemed to get a round of laughs from em Guards, but did little to sway my temper. Anyways, dat disgruntled guard who got saddled with me, then changed his opinion of me, and began to talk politely. He asked me if i could make tables, and set up a stall handing out free beer. I nodded, and he left so e’ could get me wood and beer.
Within a few minutes o 'is return, I wus stood behind a makeshift bar, with beer spread out in front o me. I aint no barman, but any fool can stand there looking the part.Time passed with lots o interest in da ramblin’s o em guards, and before long, we wus moving out again.
Seems some bright spark thought it would good to patrol em sewers of Britian, so da guards all geared up and set off to em sewers. One of da guards then asked me if I could go to, and act as a light source. I couldn’ really refuse, I need to guards to be aware o me, so’s I can set up me business in Cove.
Anyways Miss, there we wus, all covered in Sh.... Mud, wading thru em sewers, with me acting like a torch for da guards. When suddenly all ‘ell broke loose Miss, we were under attack from some nasty buggers who’d set up camp in em sewers.
Guards were runnin’ ere and there, while some guards fell to em evil buggers, all the while, I be stood there like a ruddy pudding ‘oldin a lantern..
All I can say is, I be glad em sewers already stank, cus I almost messed meself..
Im a ruddy blacksmith, not a guard !!!
After a few minutes the battle was over, and em evil buggers were wiped out. I wus asked if I could make a magical gate back to Cove so that em guards could take their wounded to be treated. This I did, and we all arrived safetly at the barracks, where dat hoighty toighty git on the orse, then rambled on again, until ‘e finally dismissed us all.
Wit’ tha Miss, I ran like ‘ell back to me forge in case dat bugger asked me to go somewheres else….
Yours with respect, Miss
Banedon.
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