Led by: Junior Guardsman Kas Valentine.
Attended by: Officer Cadet Vince Valentine, Guardsman Recruit Leloo, Guardsman Recruit Nicholi.
Given the normal nature of Sundays I decided to awaken the guardsmen from their afternoon slumber and organise a quick training session, after all you never know when the Yewish could strike !
I gave the barracks bell a damn good tugging and soon enough a gaggle of sleepy eyed guardsmen arranged themselves before me on the rooftop.
Since I've always been in the dizzy heights of good health I soon noticed that those before me (namely Leloo and Vince) could do with shedding a few pounds. I ordered them to do five laps of the training ring to which they replied "harrummpfff".
Vince and Leloo display their ability, or lack of. Nevertheless they managed to complete the circuit and were soon back in line puffing and panting. However no sooner had they completed their laps than Guardsman Recruit Nicholi arrived and so I sent them a'running to the gates of Cove for good measure.
No easy ride with Junior Guardsman Valentine I tell ye !
Anyway, the three of them soon returned looking a little worse for wear, Vince especially.
Vince Valentine:
Sir I think my hearts going to keel over and do a backflip....*wheezes*Kas Valentine:
*rolls his eyes* I've never heard such tripe from a grenadier in all my days with Cove, that's your heartbeat you big oaf. You ought to get out and get some exercise more often.....bloody Officers....now get back in line!Having given Vince a good roasting I decided it was probably best to give the guardsmen something a little less taxing to do, just in case Vince was in fact on the verge of death (I can quite believe it, fat blighter that he is). And so I ordered an equipment check !
Kas strikes fear into the guardsmen with two simple words, "equipment check". I followed proceedure and went through each of their essentials one by one;
Torches: Leloo and Nicholi were both sporting finely kept torches but as ever Vince let down the group by producing some kind of fancy lantern.
Bandages: Each guardsman present had a good amount of bandages except Nicholi as he'd used a large number during the tournament in Nujelm last eve. I contributed a few of my own and said no more about it.
Parade arms: Everyone present had shimmering halberds that would doubtless strike fear into Cove's enemies if they saw us out marching.
Bedrolls: Bit of a let down on the bedrolls front, Nicholi had loaned his out to some anonymous stranger (hopefully a lass). And to make matters worse Vince's roll was covered with all manner of stains and stunk something rotten. I ordered the recruit to fetch a new one as soon as he could and Vince was given some harsh words on the matter of hygeine.
Having displayed their equipment, such as it was, I ordered the guardsmen to stow it all away so we could commence the final section of their training for the day......
ability in combat !
The guardsmen stuff their junk back into their backpacks. I split our group into two smaller groups, Vince and Leloo took the north of the ring while Nicholi and myself took the south. I explained that Vince's team would be defending whereas my strapping team would attack with full force. The guardsmen informed me they were ready and I conjured a magical wall between the teams. When the enchantment broke, we went at each other, the only rule being that the defending team remain in their position (no moving).
CHARGE! Vince's team lost their defence with some swift moves from Nicholi and I, but we soon got them back on their feet and switched roles. When the second fight began, with my team defending, a furious brawl ensued. Vince was the first to fall, shortly followed by Nicholi and myself with Leloo securing a victory for the downed Officer.
After exchanging words of congratulation and admiration I had the guardsmen line up before me where I commended their readyness and ability for combat. Following that I gave them a swift salute and sent them on their way with a hearty bellow of "DISMISSED!".
All in all, a most productive training session.
*signed in carefully applied handwriting*
Junior Guardsman Kas Valentine.