'Lo there ladies an' gents - I guess I'm the new kid here in this lil' thing that we've got goin'. Not that that'd stop me a'course, already got some mighty fine tales to tell.
So last night I met Mister Lynch, who took me in an' such, as you do. I ain't happy 'bout startin' at the bottom, but what kin you do, ain't no use frettin'.
So me'n Lynch was sittin' in the tavern when some fella in a hooded robe comes up to us, lookin' for someone that matched Lynch's description (turns out ol' Lynch had been causin' a lil' mischief a'fore hand, as you do). So we talks to this fella for a bit, an' soon turn his game on his'self, he ain't too quick in the ol' head y'see. Lets it slip that he's some kinda pirate. Now this ain't a clever thing to do round Cove I'm sure, an' sure enough soon another fella, callin' hisself Lars turns up.
Now Lars is a fine ol' fella, man after me own heart an' such. The pirate's completely lost the plot at this point, he don't know what his story is, he's sayin' he's some kinda healer warrior monk or some such, an' says he's got a loada pirate ships in Buccaneer's Den. Now, I hate to see a fella get all flustered 'bout who he is, coulda been those pirate ships holdin' back his healer ways. So we get the awful bright idea of relievin' him of such ships, it's only right, see?
Now me'n Lars take in turns goin' through his pockets while he talks, eventually he gets a lil' flustered an' runs off. Can't blame him really. Point is we got us an awful, an
awful shiny key off him, that might just unlock us a nice boat. So the three of us set off to Buccaneer's Den to see if'n he really does have a nice ol' boat.
It don't take us long to find a nice boat that our new key fits, on the South end o' the island. Here's a lil' drawin' of us searchin':
That's Mister Lynch wi' the cloak, ol' Lars in the red an' yours truly in the robe an' black band.
So we sails away all high 'n mighty, an' we hears some noises a-comin' from the shore, turns out we found us a nest o' pirates! Now we figured there's a chance the fellas here might want to buy a boat off us, bein' pirates an' all. He said he had enough boats already, somethin' that we could soon fix!
Here's the pirate, wi' ol' Mister Lynch showin' his fine, fine subtlety.
Lucky the pirate seemed dumber 'n the planks that his boats were made of really. So he, bein' a kind one, invites us in for a drink. We, wantin' more boats, kindly accept his offer.
So we's sittin' an' drinkin' when the pirate we got the boat off walks in - shoulda seen the look on' ol' Lars' face, I tell you what. He din't seem very upset though, don't reckon' he'd noticed. One o' the pirates proposed a wager, to which we replied:
As you do.
Now it wasn't exactly an interestin' wager, jus' bettin' on a game of darts, but it was somethin' to do. Me 'n Lars both took him up on the offer. Lars bet one o' the pirates necklaces, an' I bet some o' the pirates' gold (they ain't too sharp these pirates). Turns out they won anyway, but that don't matter. that ain't the point. The point is...
We sailed away with three, count 'em ladies an' gents! Three boats!
Mister Lynch'd put on a robe to cover his armour, 'cos the pirates was searchin' for someone of his description, an' I'd changed me outfit completely, 'cause that's what you do after you do somethin' that might annoy someone else. Makes sense, see?
Now we're all pleased as Pete wi' this here turn of events, but o'course it couldn't all be rosey. One o' the pirates grabbed his axe and swam after us! Read that line as much as you want. He swam after us! Ain't never seen nothin' like it.
So this pirate boards Mister Lynch's boat an' starts lookin' angry an' such. Now it ain't that we couldn't a' taken him o'course, but we was feelin' awful sorry, so Mister Lynch
ran withdrew to ol' Lars' boat an' we made our getaway. Lars had even ecquired some rum from the pirates earlier, bein' a kind chap an' such. So we had a lil' celebration.
Then we decided to sail home, some problems here though, ladies an' gents! We din't know where home was.
So we sailed.
A lot.
And some more.
It took us a while, y'see?..
But 'course it all ended, golden, like. We was back in Cove wi' a mighty fine prize of two boats! Here they are:
An' that, ladies an' gents, boys an' girls, is how we do it. First of many, you understand.
An' it's a pleasure to meet y'all.
*Signed*'Grit'
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