Hear year, hear ye!
As Alliance forces partook in a picnic in the Covian Colony of Nujel'm, dastardly Vesperians vainly attempted to lodge a protest against the huge combined force, succeeding only in mildly upsetting Captain Radek 'Radish' Wilkes' prize horse. The well fortified palace proved totally impenetrable to Vesperian troops, who were swiftly seen off by the gleaming bronze clad Baron's Own Grenadiers! Eyewitnesses report that part time museum mannequin Hardened Grenadier Hrothgar 'The Fossil' defeated one entire wave of the Vesperian assault while napping.
There was further embarrassment for the Vesperians as their leader Esca 'Stuffed Bear' Flowne slipped on a banana peel discarded by Covian Arcanists, tumbling off the palace walls as he attempted to lead a charge, so disheartening his mysterious allies that they fled the battlefield entirely. This shameful display has led the Vesperians to sue for peace, ending the immediate threat to Cove's newest and sandiest colony! All Covians can rejoice in a victory well earned!
RUMOURS:
- The spoils of war? Battlefield commander Tiberius 'Halberd Havoc' Kane has been sighted alongside many of Cove's most eligible bachelorettes
- Disaster for Rex Richter's race for governor, his campaign floundering as he is immediately ejected from Stonekeep for unspecified breaches of the peace
- Weddingmania continues as the most untrusted of watchmen Chelly 'Wasn't that Tingle' Rothsmire seeks a rugged Yewish husband!
WILL ESCAFLOWNE FINALLY BE MADE THE BARON'S JESTER?
WHICH HOUSE IN VESPER HAVE YOU PICKED OUT AS YOUR NEWEST PROPERTY?
FIND OUT IN THE NEXT ISSUE OF THE COVETOWNE GAZETTE - COVE'S MOST VICTORIOUS NEWSPAPER!
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