Me day begun much like any other, hatchet in hand I was out in the woods alone collectin' logs for me master Mister Banedon so he could make items to sell in his new shop. I came out in a clearin' in the woods and found a group o' guards an' a fellow civilian. One o' the guards were me own boss Mister Grief, an' it looked like he 'ad been beat up pretty bad. From wha' I gather someone 'ad tried to rob a civilian, miss Danichta i think her name was, whilst she were out wood-cuttin'. Fortunately Mister Grief 'ad shown up jus' in time to scare the brigands off bu' not before takin' a knock or two himself.
Miss Danichta seemed a bit shaken, an' had a big ole pile o' logs tethered across her back so I offered to help her carry them back to the tavern. I decided it were also a good time to get the 4,000 logs i 'ad collected for Mister Grief. I grabbed me a packhorse an' made a swift journey to the bank, keepin' me eyes open for any other bandits.
On the way back, a stranger informed me tha' a large house were due to be demolished in the northern region o' Cove so I reckoned, wha' with me borrowed packhorse an' all, I could scavenge me a few pieces o' furniture. I looked around for an escort to take me to the house, an' Mister Garand were only too hapy to oblige. He no doubt 'eard about the earlier attempted muggin' o' Danichta.
As we were travellin' tha' way we passed Miss Levi's house an' i'll be buggered.... she were bein' robbed too!! I don't know if it were the same people, but when we found thems they had a wire around her neck an' were demandin' she take off her clothes! I didn't fancy drawin' their attention so quickly ducked under the packhorse whilst Mister Garand stepped into the shadows o' a nearby buildin'.
Peekin' from under the horse, I managed to see Mister Garand 'ad his blade placed at the throat o' one o' the brigands. Them's must 'ave some good reflexes, 'cause the second brigand were able to step up to Mister Garand casual as ye like an' smack the blade clean out o' his hand!! *Mumble mumble* Anyways there were nowt 'e could do, so after bein' provided with a robe to undress under Miss Levi reluctantly 'anded over her garments.
The robbers grabbed the clothes as another o' their partners in crime arrived an' dashed off into the woods. Mister Garand checked to see if Miss Levi were alright, an' I found her some more clothes from the saddle bag o' me packhorse. She assured us she were fine, an' went back inside her house wearin' some fine hobbit threads!
After all the muggin's today I decided i didn't much fancy sittin' outside a crumblin' house with a load o' cut-throat looters, so asked Mister Garand if he could escort me back to the tavern instead.
When I gots there I were tickled to find out tha' the pantry 'ad been fully stocked by me suppliers whilst I were away. Grand! It were jus' in time for the Open Tavern in Cove. Mister Grief, recoverin' from his earlier fightin', came an' told me to cook up some food real quick an' make me way to Cove. It were cuttin' it tight, bu' I managed to knock up a good twenty pies an' wrap them before I set off for Cove.
I hefted the bag o' pies over me shoulder and headed into Cove. When I stepped through the gates, it were a marvellous sight. Hundreds o' folk had shown up to show their respects to Mister Eason an' listen to his farewell speech. Before Mister Eason arrived a' the podium, i were able to set up a small stall an' sell me a few pies for the audience to eat durin' the speech.
About ten minutes later I spotted Mister Eason approachin' his spot, so closed down me stall for a bit an' found me a seat amongst the audience. It were a grand speech indeed, Mister Eason addressin' folk from all walks, surrounded by a myriad o' his fellow guards. He talked abou' his past problems with some folks, bu' settin' them aside jus' for this evenin', he told how Cove were the new gem o' Brittainia an' how it would prosper, an' said wha' an honour it had been servin' Cove for so many years. I don't know the fellow tha' well meself, but it were sad to see him leavin', but his speech sure did make me proud ter be a part o' the Covian society.
As the speech were drawin' to an end, a group of Yew Militia folk arrived from the docks in the North, with Mister Klion leadin' the procession. He stepped up to Mister Eason an' said he would like to present 'im with somethin' on behalf of Yew... then threw somethin' on the ground.
Ye know when ye strollin' through a field, an' ye take a step only to find ye foot slippin' half a pace in front when ye set it on the ground. Ye gets tha' sinkin' feelin' in ye gut 'cause ye know, even before ye looked down, tha' ye trodden in the biggest cow's pat imaginable? Well tha's the feelin' I got in me gut when I saw what Mister Klion had dropped on the ground: a noose.
I knew all hell were about to break loose, I didn't catch the exact reason why Mister Klion had his eye on Mister Eason for a hangin' an' i didn't much care. I were too busy scramblin' under the chairs in search of somewhere safe to hide. I 'ad barely left the audience when the sound o' iron-on-iron started ringin' through the streets! There were all-sorts drawin' arms around me, some wantin' to defend the old commander, some wantin' to see tha' Mister Klion's justice were exacted, an' even some opportunists jus' hopin to beat up some folk an' rob them.
I decided the best place for me were high ground away from the fightin', so ran as fast as me legs would carry me on to the Cove town wall. I stood above the town gates, an' looked down to see a group of folk tha' looked like ne'er-do-wells. So I set down me back o' pies, pulled out a couple an' let them have a taste of some of Smedly's finest! Splat! Right on their 'eads!
I ducked back out o' sight before they knew wha' hit 'em, an' decided my place in the fight were jus' to sit there an' wait till it were all over. The screamin' were somewhat unbearable, there were folks fallin' all over the place an' big pools o' blood formin' in the streets below. Someone would 'ave to clean tha' up in the mornin' an' it sure as stone weren't me!
About half an hour later the proverbial dust 'ad settled, the Yew militia 'ad retreated back to their lands and the Covian guards tha' could still walk were tendin' to the ones tha' weren't so fortunate. I decided i'd set out back into the streets an' see if I could offer any assistance. I heard a cry goin' out in the West
"Commander Eason has fallen!!", so quickly followed the voice in tha' direction. Sure enough the message were true, Mister Eason lay motionless on the ground jus' outside the armoury.
The guards around him tried their best to hide their emotions, but it were plain to see thems were upset. Some had tears fillin' the corners o' their eyes, an' others couldn't stop sniffin' an' wipin' their noses. There were some tha' seemed downright full o' rage, drew their weapons and began runnin' towards the town gates shoutin' curses about the Militia o' Yew. It were deeply sad to see, an' I couldn't help meself givin' a small prayer under me breath as they took Mister Eason's body into the armoury.
I tooks in a deep reath an' looked at the battered town around me. In the distance I could see tha' the Open Tavern were still runnin' an' Miss Seishuko were dilligently servin' drinks to the folk who 'ad been involved in the fightin' or those tha' wished to drown their sorrows over the news o' Mister Eason. I decided it were me duty to help cheer these folk up, so gathered up me remainin' pies and went set up shop nearby...
Total earnings from pie sales: 140 crowns
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