*Ryan is sitting at the tavern with a few pieces of blank paper in front of him which he is drawing on with a child like enthusiasm*
*Looking up from his papers with a large grin on his face he raised a brow at the bartender*
Ohh! Did I ever tell ye about this ‘ere time I was a mercenary within the best company in all of Yew?*The bartender slammed his hand down on the wooden bar and bellowed*
Aye!! He bloody told me four times already!! I know about ye! I know about your bloody company! And I know ye were a mercenary! Now either tell something good or keep that pork trap of yers shut!!*Sighing faintly Ryan looked back at his drawings and rubbed the back of his neck*
Well… I do ‘ave this ‘ere story about a missin’ lass I ‘ad to find on one of meh first days ‘ere in the militia.*The bartender leaned a little further over the counter and raised an eyebrow*
Ohhh… I heard something about a missing lass… just got married to some rich noble type fellow didn’t she?*Ryan nodded faintly and looked down at the pictures*
Aye… that’s roit but I tell ye folk these ‘ere days are startin’ to act weirder and weirder.. This ’ere task surely showed that.
Ye see it started all when this ‘ere fellow from out of town was asking meh somethin’ about lookin’ fer ‘is missin’ lass.
Well I nay thought this ‘ere would be a ‘ard task and savin’ the life of some poor innocent lass isn’t a task ye get given every day.
So anyway I decided to let meh superiors know about this ‘ere missin’ person and what do ye know! Em give meh control of this ‘ere rescue mission.
So after I got em other folk together we set off towards Britain.. I probably ‘ad a wee bit too much ale on duty or somethin’ because I could ‘ave sworn one of meh superiors changed into a giant chicken! *The bartender stared blankly at Ryan and shook his head sadly while mumbling to himself*
A bloody drunk… and at that age even… uhhh anyway! Ye were saying something about heading towards Britain?*Ryan grabbed one of the papers in front of him and showed it towards the bartender with a wide grin on his face*
That’s roit! Britain! Ye see this ‘ere lass was on a ‘oneymoon or somethin’ like that with ‘er new ‘usband but we ‘ad nay bloody idea where she was in Britain so we went to this ‘ere local pub to get some information and a wee drink.
Well ye see there were these ‘ere three houses that were normally rented out to em noble folk when em were on their ’oneymoon or somethin’ else that ’ad to be romantic
So after lookin‘ around fer a while we came across these three ’uge ’ouses! I tell ye if ye think yer tavern ’is big ’ere ye should ’ave seen em ’ouses there.. this ’ere place would be a shed compared to em.*The bartender narrowed his eyes towards Ryan but stopped as he got another picture shoved right in front of his nose by the widely grinning Ryan*
Ye see? I made a wee sketch of that there place.. It was all fancy lookin’ and everythin’ inside.
So anyway meh and some of em other militia folk searched around that there ’ouse fer a while I tell ye all of em rooms were all tidy and clean and everythin’ except one of em there were all these ’ere creepy lookin’ drawings of some lass gettin’ ’erself whacked in all kinds of ways.
Now we found some sort of weird journal thin‘ belongin‘ to the lass or somethin‘ she was writin‘ in the start ‘ow ‘appy she was about marryin‘ that there fellow but in the end ‘e ‘ad gone mad or somethin‘ because she wrote about ’ow ’e was startin’ to scare ’er and ’e locked ’imself in that there room with all em silly drawings.
Now there was really nay anythin‘ else around there except this ‘ere chest which contained a note of that there pub meh and em other militia folk visited earlier.
It was somethin‘ about the barkeeper ’oldin’ back a fine bottle of wine from Trinsic or somethin’.
Well ye know that there Trinsic wine be bloodi expensive so meh and em other folk decided to ’ave a look fer that there wine back in the pub and maybe get some more ale.*Ryan picks up another sheet of paper which was in front of him and shows it to the bartender*
As soon as we arrived down there sir Grief told everyone to start lookin’ fer that there wine bottle and whoever was nay lookin’ ’ard enough got shook by that bearded madman! I tell ye I was dizzy fer three hours after that eijit stopped shakin’ meh! *The bartender stares at Ryan and chuckles faintly*
So did ye ever find that there bottle of wine? Or did ye just help yerself to the pubs ale supply? Ho Ho Ho!*Ryan rubbed the back of his neck looking down at his drawings and mumbling quietly*
Hmph.. Of course ‘’I’’ found that there bottle of ale.. Errr.. I mean wine! But that was nay the only thin’ we found.. Ye see in that there bottle of wine that ‘usband fellow put some sort of map with a riddle below in it.
It said somethin’ alon’ the words of.. Uhhh… ‘’The place where folk live and die will be where meh love lies’’
Well that there map thin’ showed a picture of that there town Jhelom and the only place where folk be gettin’ themselves whacked all of the time be em duelin’ pits.
Well… I ‘ad to run ahead because I said somethin‘ that bearded monkey nay liked.. He charged at meh like some wild orc I tell ye.. Never caught meh though.. Har Har!*Ryan picks up one of the last sheets of paper lying on the bar and shoves it towards the bartender*
Now this ‘ere be a picture of meh and em other folk in Jhelom.. We went to em duelin’ pits ye see and there was this ‘ere large patch of freshly dug up ground in one of em tunnels.
Thank the avatar I was able to convince Sir Grief that I ‘ad a ‘orrible pain in meh back and ‘e made some other recruit by the name of Feraz or somethin’ do all the diggin’ Har Har!*Shaking his head the bartender stared at Ryan with a frown*
Ye must be really proud of yerself.. Making that poor lad do all the heavy shovelling while ye just sit back and relax.*Grinning widely Ryan scribbled some more lines on his paper and sniggered*
Damn roit! One of meh best plans yet I tell ye! Uhh… anyway that there other recruit was doin’ all of the diggin’ and after about ten minutes or so this ‘ere ‘orrible smell started fillin’ em tunnels.. I tell ye its like somebody buried a bloodi ogre and left it to rot in the droppings of a troll!
So anyway after about five more minutes of diggin’ this ‘ere wooden coffin became visible.. Well I nay ‘ave to tell ye what was inside eh..? *The bartender chuckled and slammed his hand down on the wooden bar*
Let me guess.. The husband! Ho Ho Ho! *Ryan blinked a few times and stared blankly at the bartender before shaking his head*
The ‘usband? Didn‘t ye even listen to meh story..? I tell ye it was the wife! Well… what was left of ‘er anyway.. Sir Grief started searching through em remains until ‘e found this ‘ere golden weddin‘ ring to identify ‘er with.. I told ‘im I knew this ‘ere fellow that bought em sort of things but some folk just nay know ‘ow to get good money even if it comes up and smacks em in the face.
So meh and that recruit ‘ad to burry that stinkin‘ chest again.. I nay saw any reason fer it really.. I mean em local folk could ‘ave buried ‘er as well.. Its nay like em would just live with that there smell eh? *While the bartender was shaking his head sadly Ryan picked up the last of his drawings and held it in front of the bartenders face*
So.. Well that be the story.. The lass be dead and we never caught the ‘usband.. Now… ‘ow about ye give meh a free ale after tellin’ ye such a great story!?*The bartender frowned at Ryan and held out his hand*
Story or nay story lad.. Yer paying just like everybody else. *Ryan rummaged through his pocket and cursed quietly*
Ahh… bloodi ’ell.. Nay more money on meh.. Well I suppose I’ll see ye when I get meh next pay check then eh?*The bartender shook his head as Ryan walked through the door*
Hmph.. Odd youth these here days.
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