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Pouting? Solution!
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Topic: Pouting? Solution! (Read 3059 times)
Hrothgar
Played by a Icelandic banker
Cove Command
Covian Legend
Karma: +65535/-20
Posts: 1218
The Old One
Pouting? Solution!
«
on:
August 20, 2006, 02:08:35 am »
If your in need of a laugh...
Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane but only a high school diploma to fix one. (Reassurance for those of us who fly routinely in their jobs).
After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet" that tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a "P") and the solutions recorded (marked with an "S") by maintenance engineers.
By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
+++
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
+++
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
+++
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
+++
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
+++
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
+++
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to a more believable level.
+++
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're for.
+++
P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
+++
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
+++
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
+++
P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
+++
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
+++
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
+++
And the best one for last..................
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.
__________________
«
Last Edit: August 20, 2006, 02:10:47 am by Hrothgar/Raziel
»
Logged
Amy Marsteller
Guest
Re: Pouting? Solution!
«
Reply #1 on:
August 20, 2006, 08:47:44 am »
Quote from: Hrothgar/Raziel on August 20, 2006, 02:08:35 am
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.
__________________
That wouldn't happen to be an Angry Midget, would it?
Logged
Darcy O'Connor
Loving nutcase
Covian Citizen
Karma: +6/-1
Posts: 97
I was pushed off! Look!
Re: Pouting? Solution!
«
Reply #2 on:
August 20, 2006, 11:12:37 am »
lol, where did you find them from?
Logged
Gregor Eason *Impersonating Grief*: Got no brains jah!
*Grief arrives at the door behind Eason*
Gregor Eason: Bruddas! YAH YAH!
Mela: *Does a cutting throat motion*
Salick Kaysen
Scout Recruit
Covian Guardsman
Covian Citizen
Karma: +3/-3
Posts: 51
Re: Pouting? Solution!
«
Reply #3 on:
August 20, 2006, 01:28:41 pm »
Old old ooooollllddd internet joke that been around a while.
Still funny when someone drudges it up tho =)
Logged
A fair fight? Thats just one where theres a 50/50 chance youll LOSE. Would you bet your life on the flip of a coin?
Darcy O'Connor
Loving nutcase
Covian Citizen
Karma: +6/-1
Posts: 97
I was pushed off! Look!
Re: Pouting? Solution!
«
Reply #4 on:
August 20, 2006, 02:11:22 pm »
*Goes off in search of some jokes in the old e-mail inbox*
Ill post some up in a while..
Logged
Gregor Eason *Impersonating Grief*: Got no brains jah!
*Grief arrives at the door behind Eason*
Gregor Eason: Bruddas! YAH YAH!
Mela: *Does a cutting throat motion*
Gregor Eason
Cove Command
Covian Legend
Karma: +30/-15
Posts: 1262
Re: Pouting? Solution!
«
Reply #5 on:
August 21, 2006, 02:53:18 am »
rofl!!
Nice
Logged
Garak: "Uh, I was under the impression we didn't allow neon hair?"
Grief: "I was under the impression we didn't allow hair at all!?"
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