*The bartender of the local tavern was yawning loudly as his eyes scanned the furniture and a group of drunk men throwing peanuts to one another and laughing loudly*
Uggh… fer the avatars sake.. If something exciting happen soon I‘m going to give a free round to the whole tavern.. This has got to be the most boring stinking day ever!*One of the drunk men of the group suddenly stopped tossing peanuts at his comrades and turned towards the bartender with a drunk smirk on his face*
Well mate if ye nay wanted things to have been boring then ye should have hired yerself one of them story teller folk things.. Them be the latest craze in tavern these days I tells ya! And cough up with that free ale yer promised because I be on the risk of getting sober here!*The bartender growled and tossed the dirty cleaning cloth he was holding towards the drunk mans face and shook his fist at him*
Silence yer drunk tramp! I said ‘’soon‘’ so yer going to have to have to let that there ale belly of yers wait a few minutes before its going to be satisfied again.
And I aint hiring no bloody expensive story telling pansy when I have one of them Covian guardsmen come in here every night and share his troubles and stories with me like I was some sort of priest.*The bartender reached down below the bar with both his hands and started to groan and turn as red as a cherry as he tried to lift something located under the bar*
*The drunk men stared towards the bar with a confused look in their eyes as loud curses involving the bartenders mother in law started to arrive from behind the bar*
Uhhh… Mate are ye okay down there? I don‘t know what yer doing down there but it doesn‘t sound right to me or the boys!*The bartender slammed a giant hideous looking hour glass down on the bar and grinned proudly as he wiped the sweat off his bald cherry red forehead*
There she is me boys! The monstrosity I received from me dear old mother in law.. And here I was thinking the damned thing would just collect dust for the rest of me life! Now this here thing be perfect for the bet I tells ya! It runs exactly fer two hours!*Two hours passed with nothing exciting happening except the bartender staring at the hour glass and the drunk men holding a fart and burping contest*
*The drunk man grinned widely and held out his ale mug while receiving a deadly glance of the barkeeper*
BahhH! Set yer arse down boy! There‘s still a few grinds of sand left in this here bloody thing… Ye never know what might happen in the meanwhile!*The drunk man laughed sarcastically towards the bartender while staring at the door*
Ohhh aye..? What is supposed to happen eh!? A horde of guardian spawn marching through it..? A invading army? Ohhh! Or maybe a group of pix-*Before the man finished his sentence the door swung wide open and a horde of blood covered guardsmen burst into the tavern singing loudly and patting each other on the back*
Bywahah! Yer were saying lad?!*The bartender scanned the crowd with a victorious smile on his face and his eyes stopped as he caught Ryan in his view*
Arrrr!! Lad get yer arse over here and have a seat at the bar! Ye owe me a good explanation about what in the avatars name all these guardsmen are doing here!*Ryan smirked faintly and walked towards the bar with three sheets of paper clutched in his hand and a wide grin on his blood and sweat covered face*
It was grand I tell ye! I nay ‘ad action like that there since meh days back in Yew! There were deadies everywhere I tell ye!
Them deady folk just kept on comin‘ and comin‘ and comin‘! And all that roit in front of the bloodi barracks! I mean.. can ye believe it?!*The bartender placed a mug of ale with a foamy top in front of Ryan and smiled sweetly towards him*
On the house lad! I‘m sure a hard working lad like yerself could use one of these here after what ye just told me!
Speaking of which… are those things ye have in yer hand there them drawings ye always do? I love them things I do! Very realistic like.*Ryan grabbed hold of the mug and placed one of the sheets of paper on the table while grinning proudly*
Ohhh aye.. This ‘ere be where it all started! I ‘ad this ‘ere ‘orribly borin‘ guard duty in front of the Baron persons office ye see.. I must ‘ave fallen ‘alf a sleep until I ‘eard screams comin‘ from the outside and before ye know it one of meh superiors comes runnin‘ down em stairs and grabs meh by the neck and drags meh towards the bloodi battle field!
There were folk screamin‘ and blood flyin‘ around everywhere I tell ye!
And these ‘ere were nay normal deadies either! Em attacked in all sizes and shapes em did.. We even ‘ad one of em dragon carcasses attack us! ‘Eck ‘e almost bit a recruit in ‘alf!*The bartender chuckled loudly as he listened to Ryan’s story while serving drinks to the guardsmen ordering them in front of his bar*
Ohhh! I remember when I saw in the service I was! Recruits always get themselves killed in the silliest ways them do.. I had this here one lad that crushed a chicken under his foot but choked on them chicken feathers flying around the place afterwards!
Makes ye think doesn‘t it..? Never harm a chicken unless yer an experienced fighter!*Ryan stared blankly towards the bald bartender while nodding slowly*
Errr… r…roit ye are… killer chickens.. Anyway! Where was I..?
Ohhh aye… there were deadies attackin‘ everywhere! And even when things seemed ‘opeless then militia stood stron‘ it did.. Nay a single one of em deadies escaped other wrath! We pierced their skin and smashed their bones to dust we did! And all without losin‘ a single man!*Ryan raised his chin a little and grinned proudly while placing another sheet of paper in front of the bartender*
And things got even better em did I tell ye! Once em deadie folk were all.. Errr.. Well.. Uhh.. dead like the captain started to pick folk to clean up the mess.. But this ‘ere recruit wanted to ‘ave an urgent word with meh she did.. So I nay ‘ad to clean up a thin‘!
*The bartender smirked and patted the laughing Ryan on the back*
Ye always seem to be lucky as hell lad! But ye should keep yer eyes open at all times ye should! Because one day when ye least expect it ye‘ll have yer head cut off by a troll of something!
Now I should start serving these here guardsmen.. Because if they don‘t get any ale in them soon they‘ll start trashing the place.
Why don‘t ye go do something useful yerself and pay a visit to that there lass that has been staring at ye fer a while..? I‘m sure she would love to hear the story!*Ryan collected his papers with a smirk on his face and gave a wink towards the bartender before walking off towards the girl sitting in the corner*
Har Har… go get them lad!*The bartender chuckled for a while and turned back towards his customers waiting to be served*
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