Arkay's Archery Training: Respecting The Bow
Lead by:
Erik Arkay, Senior Guardsman.
Attended by:Regdar, Junior Guardsman
Kelly, Junior Scout
Dalamar, Junior Scout
Henry Dreat, Guardsman Recruit
Nicholi, Regular Dragoon
Gimbly, Regular Grenadier
Faden Wildheart, Guardsman Recruit
Hoagie, Capatin
The training started off fairly simple. Senior Erik asked who is "most like to shoot the ir own foot off then shoot the enemy", most saying they'd shoot their foot!
Afterwards, he told us about the crossbow, before shoving one into our hands. Also explaining further that, we might even progress to shooting our hands as we become better with the weapon, rather than our foot.
Senior Arkay then asked those who were present "what is the most dangerous weapon?". A lot of replies came to that, I suggested a Yewish man (they smell horrible!), but Senior Arkay stated all answers were wrong. Though, Kelly's answer of the sash was deemed close by Erik. After much guess work, He finally gave his answer "A Covian wielding a Crossbow" - I'd rather go with a well crafter blade myself though.
After informing us that we were to wield the most powerful weapon, he then moved to tell us, we should treat our crossbows like we would treat our woman (Which lead to telling everyone about carressing the weapon).
His next point was that, thinking of it in such a way is not enough, we must name it like our wenches are named.
There was a large range of names, going from Boris (Kelly's choice) to Poo II (Dalamar's choice) up to Floorina (my own choice). Seniore Arkay wasn't too impressed with Dal's naming, and he though mine was rather odd, though not as odd as the final name, "Ryan". Chosen ofcourse by our very own Regular Grenadier Gimbly. Arkay seemed a bit dismayed by this choice, stating that Ryan is not a woman, but he still allowed it.
Now we had covered that section, it was time to actually take aim with our new weapons. We were given the order to take aim, some aiming at Erik himself (Accidentally, I should hope) others at rocks that were in the arena.
We were told to "become our target". This was all good in theory, but a few rebelled to act like a filthy Yewish man, as well as one recruit becoming a rock, causing him to forget how to breathe.
Having pleased Senior Arkay, he now deemed us fit to utter his AA chant. It went some thing like: "This is my Crossbow! This is my gun! This is for fighting! And this is for fun!". With that fresh in everyone's mind we were made to parade back and forth repeating the AA chant. Some grumbled, others went straight ahead with it. Never the less, it was completed as asked!
Finally, to round everything up, he called a free for all. This would have been superb, if only he had actually supplied ammunition. Those already with bolts were at a high advantage, shooting us all down to size, whilst the rest had to use the bow as a club.
Battered, and bruised, with bows sticking out of our armour, Senior Arkay called a dismissal. Though, first, he talked about his Archer Guild and progressing through it.
I can't say, myself, I'll be taking up a new profession it was interesting to learn the ways of the Cross bow.
*Signed*
Junior Guardsman,
Regdar
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