Epic Patrol Around Sosaria

[John Dell]

Patrol Around Sosaria!

In Attendance:
Junior Guardsman John Dell (Lead)
Watchman Perrin
(ooc: those not listed, tell me on ICQ or PM me and I'll edit.)

Purple: John
Green: Tiberius

*An odd map is printed next to the report.*


- "That map is wrong.."
- "What!?"
- "We started outside of Britain!"
- "I'm not changing the darn map because yer an idiot an' forgot to mention that!"

We started in Britain after them others had left.
- "What others??"
- "Some recruits, I forgot their names."
- "They're going ter find ye because you left them out, and eat ye!"
- "What?! Nooo! Tibby, tell them to stop!!"
- "Bwahaha!"

We then made our way through the city to find the other, less populated, side of town and from there make our way home.
Just before the bridge we encountered a man with a strange thing stuck to his behind.
It was well scary and Perrin thought that it might be contagious. So we legged it, and ran over the bridge as fast as we could.

- "What the 'ell was that about!?"
- "I don' know sir! But it was really big, and it was stuck on his bottom. And it was all green and looked loike a mushroom!"
- "I think you have been EATING those mushrooms.."

It was a super duper long walk from Britain and the road was pretty boring and empty. Not many traveled on the road anymore! We thought it was weird. Then we heard a scream in the woods, so we searched it and I didn't see nothing. But Perrin did! Well, they jumped out from behind trees and bushes and attacked us really. But Perrin stabbed them with a fork, and one of them was running around with holes in him yelling and screaming, bleeding all over the place!
And we defeated the rouges and freed their prisoner!

- "Huzzah! Proper Covian heroes!"
- "Tehee!"

We then continued our patrol by moving on on the road, towards the unknown. It was like exploring unknown territory, because neither of us knew where we were, or where we were going.

Perrin smelled something. I thought it was me. But it wasn't. It was something else! It was a super big swamp in the way of the road. We decided that we would explore it a bit. But it got really dangerous because it was super many monsters, and they were strong! And we were only me and Perrin and that wasn't so many!
But we got away eventually! And we looked good doing it!



- "So.. you visited a swamp, and got knocked about by poisonous beasts infested with all kinds of diseases?"
- "Yeh!"
- "Oh lord.. I guess we have a new plague on our hands.."
- "Huh?"
- "..YOU FOOL!"

We came out of the swamp, trying to find the road. After several hours of walking about we finally found the road! We went in one of the directions, and we came to a cross road with some signs.



Perrin is clever so we went in the right direction towards Cove. But on our way we met some strange robed fella, and we tried ter talk to him. But he fell asleep. So I threw a recruitment poster in his face. Then he just vanished! Like poff! But we continued to walk and it was a really really long road. Lucky Perrin is smart because who knows were we would have ended up!

- "Thank God fer watchman Perrin.."

The road was well quiet and weird. No travelers or tradesmen. We soon noticed why. The roads was filled with pestering bandits and rouges, some shouted foul words at the Avatar! At one point we saved two rats from a couple of bandits.



- "Rats?"
- "Aye!"
- "Did ye' name them?"
- "I named mine Shadwell!"
- "Bwahahaha!! Tha' ol' sewer rat!"



- "Shadweeeeeeeeeell!!!!"
- "WAAAH!!"

We eventually got over it. Because we would get new rats, better rats!
We continued on our way home and when we came to Altmere we felt a homey feeling and knew that Cove was close.



- "Good old Altmere!"
- "Who?"
- "Shut up and tell the story.."
- "Ukeh!"

When we stood on the road that split the Covian forest and Mount. Covetious we noticed how there had never been a road there!



- "Very observant of you Johnny!"
- "Tihi!"

We wandered around the forest, and the Covian forest was very quiet. And that was good, because we were tired.
When we finally arrived at the barracks we were ready to go sit in the tavern and take an ale..



We were wrong.

- "Hmm.."


Signed Tiberius Kane,
On Behalf of Junior John Dell

[Averion/Gambit/Crystal/Etc]

D'ya have a problem signin' yer own crimes against language Work John sah?

[Mela Arkay]

Watch it Gambit.

Scout Sergeant,
Mela.E.Arkay.

[Conan Darkmoon]

 An excellent report... although what the hell made you want to take such a long walk?  This is almost as useless a mission as the time I led a five-day assault on the orc fort.. *Breathes in deeply staring at the paper* Those where the days.
 *Signed* Conan Darkmoon