A grim poster is posted around Cove, in alleys, around the Barracks, on the doors of the Inns. Although they all differ, they convey the same message. The poster is of a familiar design underneath the blood and disturbing message lays a memorable and amusing style of Wanted artwork...



- Garshinkle, Walking Corpse.

Begrudgingly Snargonfulj counts out his final gold pieces whilst sat in his room at the Inn. He lets out a hefty sigh and looks outside at the Stars in the night sky.  Five gold left. He thinks back to his arrival...If only his pack survived the teleport between dimensions...He'd have enough money and resources to stop time with the mighty magic he wields! But alas...He is stuck, pennyless and with a useless Britannian spellbook which contains what amounts to cantrips compared to his previous realm. He has accidentally given away too much too some of the locals by rambling. The damned Disassociation side effects of flinging yourself through the multiverse and bearing witness too eldritch horrors. He looks down at an empty letter addressed too this so called Baron. He thinks to himself..."This is the perfect place too hide. In plain sight" He begins his application as court jester. How hard could it be anyway?

Dear oh gracious Lord Baron Of Cove.

This is a formal application to be your court jester. I even have the hat and everything. If an adjucant or secretary could get in touch with me about maybe an interview I am currently staying at the Inn across from the Barracks.

Kind Regards, Snargonfulj Snaglepop Father Of Garshinkle.

Name : Snargonfulj Snaglepop
Age : 76+
Race : Human
Height : 5'11
Place of birth : Through the portal to the eternal plane of stairs, take a left at the singing Cacti, kill the white rabbit and drop down past the 19th layer of the abyss and my demi-plane will be on your right just after the Alley way to the Plane Of Bureaucracy.

Description - Old, dirty, and most definitely Senile. This man speaks in a clear tongue like a noble. His hair is scraggly and matted and his beard is just the same, long and grey which he can hide things in such as quills and pipes. Coming across as arrogant and beligerant he will always jump at the opportunity to berate someone. If you followed him around at night you may see him picking up Reagants...He is definitely. Not. A Wizard.

Snargonfulj is the supposed father of Garshinkle the very father that banished him from his home realm twenty years ago. Snargonfulj has learnt so many secrets about the universe and the metaphysics of reality that he has been sent quite mad. Most of what he says will come across as gibberish to the standard Covian, speaking of such things as the Constants of Time and flinging himself through the fourth dimension just too arrive at Cove. He says he came too Cove too look for his Son Garshinkle, however why he is looking for his banished son remains a mystery, he swears that Garshinkle isn't dead due to reading his sacred geomotry still present in Cove when casting powerful divination magic REDACTED. Upon realisation that wizards and plane walkers are burnt at the stake in Cove he has hidden his spell book ... Cloak? And taken up an Ink and Quill to be a local scribe and wise man.

OOC before I get into the Juicy tear juices of Gar's death. Everytime Gar gets stabbed or something frightening happens I roll a percentile dice. If I get below ten percent, he dies. I got a nine.

Gar got lead into an ambush this evening and was attacked from all sides by deadites. He fought bravely and the excitement lead to him suffering from a heart attack. He was dragged back too the Inn and surrounded by close friends. He had a letter on him addressed too his close friends in case this happened. Too be read out upon the completion of a bottle of whiskey at the Inn.


Too Saerandir, Tingleith, Sheriam, Carolin, Miss 'Arper, Father Danaeyl, and any and all I shared a drink with.


If you're reading this. I'm dead. What i'm about too say probably doesn't even need too be said.
Thank you all. You gave me friendship, laughs, challenges, and filled me with life whilst my own life was fading slowly from illness and age.
Miss 'Arper, you lead me to a place where I felt at home which hadn't been done since i was a kid. For that, I leave you my Sword so you can cut swathes in the roads and make them safe for other lost travellers.
To Saerandir, I leave my shield you protected me and carried me all the way back from Minoc. You're the best elf i've ever met. I also leave you my Ankh amulet, not because you're particularly religious but because you embody every virtue there is.
To Sheriam, I leave the Gazzette eighth edition. Just kidding. I leave you my paragon Succubus Fang. You were always on the frontline in a fight and were as sharp as the fang in conversation.
To Carolin, I leave you a recipe on the back of this letter. Call the Whiskey something good, I cannae think of a name for it. Serve it at least once a night, even if just to yourself. I hope it makes you a fortune.
To Tingleith, I leave you the Barbed boots you gave me. you were going to dibs them anyway. I also leave you my estate in Cove do with it as you please, some humble living could do you some good Gal. Also... Tingleith, don't be a hard bitch all the time please? Honour me in death by at least trying to make someone smile by being nice like...once a day? okay too far fetched, once a month. We'll settle for once a month. Be good to Sae and keep him safe.
To Father Danaeyl, I leave my friends in your hands. They're not perfect, and some aren't at all religious, most can take after themselves. But pray for them. If it were deadites that got me, I can only assume you are already preparing for the Crusade. In which case, Deus Vult. Bring rightous fury upon them. If I died of my illness, I apologise for all of the coughing during mass.

Pugna usque in lucem
semper risus
There aint no home quite like Cove.

-GARSHINKLE 

[-Garshinkle The Honourable, Watchman.]

Lead By

Garshinkle The Honourable, Watchman

Accompanied by:

Elliot Tyrell, Guardsmen Recruit
Marcus Kobra, Regular Guardsman
Rook, Watchmen
Ostrich Fitzlewald, Guardsman Recruit? Watchman?
Wren, Guardsmen Recruit.


The dragon hunt started with me pulling out a map at the barracks, where all above had gathered, and pointing at the places on the map which said "Here Be Dragons". It was either Destard, Chaos, or Ice. I decided against Chaos Because that place is terrifying, unnatural, and things can go to shit way too fast out of pure pity for everyone else on the Master Huntsman leaderboards, I didn't want to come up against another Paragon Succubus and destroy her only to shoot up to seventh place or something.
Rook ported us to Destard where we lined up outside and came up with a game plan, we were to head in, stick together, and fight the first thing we came across.
It really was a damn shame that the first thing we came across was a greater dragon but I guess you can't win them all. The shear number of untrained recruits and of no fault of my own forced us out of Destard and away from the Greater Dragon. We retreated, regrouped and I alone came up with the idea to go to Ice instead to fight Ice Wyrms. Rook ported us over (i didn't throw up which was good). We advanced in slowly, with Elliot leading the way through the dungeon. We made it too the Ice Wyrms and the Slaughter began.
We crushed and cut up Wyrms like professional dragon hunters! It was a great success! We gathered over 200 hides needed for my Medic Apprenticeship and gathered over 21,000 gold from the Dragon hoardes! Each recruit earned 4500 gold each.
One thing I will say that was not a success was the occasional lack of basic crosshealing and running away from a dragons fiery breath and claws like a pansy instead of taking the breath directly to the face and letting one of your barely trained soldiers in arms next to you patch up your ruined mug with a skimpy bit of bandage.
Overall, thank you all for attending! You've really helped Cove get a new Medic to patch up your broken limbs.

Recruits were definitely harmed in the making of these sketches.

-Garshinkle The Honourable, Watchman.

Stumbles upon poster

Damn that Minx...So fiery.

Wanted posters are pinned around cove and in the Shire

Wanted posters show up all around cove and pinned to trees in the Shire.

Garshinkle, surrounded by friends finishes the wanted posters. He picks up a blank parchment and begins writing, blood stains the page from his still bloody hands

To be passed up the chain of command,

I do not have many sketches, one finds it hard to sketch quickly when you've multiple stab wounds.
On this day the thirty first of the seventh, I was out on patrol around Cove when I was waylayed by a familiar stunningly beautiful Bandit. She wooed me with her honeyed words spoke to me for a while before getting closer telling me how strong my muscles looked and attempted to steal my bandages. Naturally I attempted to apprehend the thief, knowing she wouldn't come in willingly I blunted her in the back of her head with my Broadsword, I failed...And she stabbed me in the chest. She missed my heart, clearly saving that for later. The minx.

Anyhow, I crawled my bleeding body back too the Barracks and set too work bandaging and stitching my wound. When all of a sudden I hear someone behind me. I nay even get a chance too look behind me before I've been stabbed multiple times in the back. The pain was...Mild. The attackee definitely could have done better. I rate their attempted assassination a 5/10. Slice instead of stab next time.

The attacker said something which resonated with me, first of all, her voice was instantly recognisable as the Salty Sparrow who was getting Irate and mine and Commander Hoagie's displeasure at being forbidden from launching fruit at Nadia. Several arguments took place at the trial over the fruit throwing debate. We, like gentlemen, left and threw fruit at the walls of the courthouse instead of Nadia within the courthouse. The Waywatcher Sparrow said too me, "you need some more respect" when we were at the trial. And upon completion of stabbing me in the back Like a pansy fruit hating coward She said "That should teach you some respect". Which instantly brought to attention who had stabbed me.

Luckily the Grenadier Raven stumbled upon the scene shortly after the Assaultee had Bugger'd off left the scene of the crime. With Grenadier Raven's aid we hastily patched me up. Then a high ranking officer of Yew arrived amongst Kobra, Miss 'Arper and later on Tingleith and Saerandir. Luckily Marcus Kobra replaced the stitches and identified that I had been poisoned and quickly fixed it. I am however barred from drinking. This makes the seventh stabbing since I became a guard.

If apprehended we should indeed question them, but I would lke to make note of what i believe to be a worthy punishment. All of Cove gets to throw fruit at her until we get bored of throwing fruit at her. Her arse is also to be branded with a Cataloupe.

-Garshinkle The Honourable, Watchmen.

Gar Division Dragon Hunting - Tuesday The 31st Of July 2018 - 6pm GMT
No limitations, everyone is welcome. Except deadites.

When:Tuesday The 31st Of July 2018 - 6pm GMT
Where: Meeting at the Barracks, heading off to hunt dragons in Chaos/anywhere else with dragons, i am unfamiliar with the map
Bring: Bring bandages and a will to live. Also patience as Gar isn't exactly the best leader.

Garshinkle needs Barbed Hides for his Medic Apprenticeship. If you want a second medic (wow a whole other person trained in saving lives) then come and support Gar by doing something awesome with your tuesday, HUNTING DRAGONS! We will not come back without five hundred Barbed Hides and quite a bit of gold. Maybe even slay something golden for it's trophy?

Looks at list. Gulps.

Dragons? By the fecki-

Scratches beard whilst walking away

Too Marcus Kobra

I'd like to apply for this position.

-Garshinkle The Honourable, Watchman.

Lead by:

The Honourable Garshinkle, Watchman.

Attended by:

Tingleith, Untrusted Watchman.
Leanne Melior, Officer Cadet.
Marcus Kobra, Regular Guardsmen, Medic.
Rook, Watchman? Recruit? I honestly have never seen this person before, potentially a spy...
Cailin Keres, Officer Cadet.


So... the totally planned mission to Chaos started as I released Tingleith from her Unlocked Locked Cell. Tingleith suggested we do a duty to which I agreed we should, It rested upon my fine shoulders and a decision left to the fine space between both of my ears to come up with something worthy. We gathered as many Guardsmen outside the Barracks and I told them my plan. I decided to go to Ilshenar Chaos and we wouldn't come back until we had a fine stack of gold and at least one trophy from something golden. Later I discovered that the true intent of my mission was to collect a trophy from a Paragon Succubus. Who knew!?
After Coming up with a plan on the spot to go to a place that i had no idea how to get too nor any idea of the location of the place telling everyone of my glorious and well thought of plan. We were ported over too Chaos in Ilshenar. Where I proclaimed, upon sighting the thing, that we would be hunting...Gold...And gold things A Paragon Succubus!
After fighting numerous deadly Puppers and even fighting some gold doggos we came across the very thing we had planned to come to Chaos to fight!
After killing the Succubus with the power of teamwork, friendship, tactics, blind luck, and willpower. We moved on to harder foes as the succubus was not nearly challenging enough for the fully formed temporary division dubbed as The Gar Division. We went on to slay dragons, demons, and more pupper dogs from hell.
We worked well as a team, slowed to Tingleiths slow walking speed when needed. No one ran off ahead and got us killed by any greater dragons which was a success.
Only one thing went well and that was Rook falling many times whilst fighting the Baldones. Maybe Rook just can't take a punch? Low pain threshold? He needs to be stabbed more I think.
After slaying several Baldones we went back to cove and took the loot with us. Overall 21,000 gold was counted up and of course the golden fang of the Paragon Succubus, as well as her wing which i quite liked the look of. Think i'll mount it...or turn it into a cloak? Either way the excellently planned mission was a grand success and I thank all of those who came along to aid in the hunt. Everyone decided to donate their share and their share comes too 3,150 gold pieces each. Good hunting.

It is done Commander.

[Ordered]

Lead by:

Leyanne Melior

Those Present:

Myself, Garshinkle Snaglepop, Watchmen.
Mischief, An Odd Civilian.
Ostrich Fitzlewitz, Guardsmen Recruit.
Joachim, A Squire too the Church.
Bech Tingleith, Watchmen Untrusted Hair.
Landlady Carolin. (who Is no longer missing which we are all very releeved about)



As usual, Leanne gathered us outside of the Barracks and briefed us on what the mission was. We had to transport two rather large Dogs named Monty and Python. One was a decoy and one was packed with supplies. Me and Tingleith definitely did not look inside previously and figure out which was which The Decoy and one with supplies was kept confidential as too confuse any waylayers on the road. Tingleith was assigned Python, whilst Monty was assigned to Landlady Carolin. I got to pet one of the large dogs which made my whole day.. Some Banter was had before we left. For the record, Miss Leanne says she doesn't care if anyone gets stabbed but personally I believe she does as she did her very best at organising us and stepping up as an inspirational leader when we got ambushed on the road. That woman is an immovable object in the face of danger. But more on this later.






We left Cove in a convoy with the large Horse breeds of Pack Dogs. We made it through the Shire, it is worth noting that a Troll did attempt to ambush our Pack Dogs but Miss Carolin is surprisingly accurate when it comes too shooting a bow. We made it to the road, and then things started to get interesting. As we headed North we noticed a figure in the road, behind him was an Oh so familiar Deadite shrine of Flesh and bone.
I do wonder where they get it all from? Maybe they can summon it? I mean, a steady supply of human heads and skinned flesh must be difficult to supply?
The figure in road stopped us, we simply could not get past the wall of flesh, and the figure was mounted upon a mighty Dog. When we got closer, it became very apparent that It was a deadite. It gave us demands. It wanted the patrol group to give me over to the deadites. Which I feel as though I must give more information about.

The Deadites seem to want me in an effort to conduct a ritual which will bring back someone they call "The Ancient One". I know this from my multiple encounters where i wasn't stabbed with the deadites. Sometimes they come to my home in the night. Sometimes they whisper too me in my dreams. They try and show me their Citadel, they beckon me towards it. I have resisted all temptation of their "Immortality". Leanne's encouraging words tonight after the mission have also given me a new found courage as she promised to bring the issue up the Chain Of Command and told me too "Stay strong".





After we all, in true Covian fashion, told the Deadite to go and "Do one" the melee and skirmishing began. They attacked relentlessly. Leanne saw it fit to Form us up and to keep moving. We held strong and slayed at least four of them however others recount slaying five. I myself slew three personally which has greatly encouraged me to continue the fight against the Deadites. I'd like to see them call me weak again after crushing three of their skulls in. The fight lasted all the way too the Crossroad Castle. Along the way the two Pack Dogs, Monty and Pythun, were slain. With the deaths of the pack dogs we were forced to carry the goods. It slowed us down but we held strong against the Deadite hit and run tactics.









We made it to the crossroads and had thinned the deadite numbers enough that they didn't dare assault us any further! We sure did good today, despite Tingleith running off alone and almost getting herself killed. We all followed orders to the letter and Leanne sure did see us through too victory. We lost none of our number. No one was stabbed. After making it to the crossroads we set up a sentry by gathering wood and hides to build an outpost.



The sentry was put up with efficiency and swiftly. Once completed a wanderer walked up to mine and Leanne's eastern sentry. He was wearing robes and a hood, one can never trust anyone who wears a hood or veils their face Like that strange Mischief woman. I have my suspicions about her we stopped the man and Leanne ordered me to search him. He wasn't having it and refused to be searched, he then attempted to walk right past us. This rustled mine and Leanne's Jimmies somewhat, so we decided to extort tax him, he wouldn't pay the tax. So Instead we demanded he show his face, which he also wouldn't do. After some threatening words of Shaman wisdom and some "insight" he bestowed upon us, Leanne saw it fit too let him go. Despite him clearly being a shifty buggar. Too be honest, I don't blame her. He was a strange fella, and for all we know he could be a wielder of deadly magicks too which we had no Arcanist to counter spell. Once again, Leanne's wisdom and leader ship was something to be admired.





We were then Ordered Inside by Leanna. She however stayed outside with Mischief. I have fallen prey to that Lady's silver tongue before and am aware that she is a smooth talker. I attempted to stay outside but clearly something needed to be spoken about that wasn't any of my Watchmen rank's concern. By the day I grow more cautious of the Lady in the black veil. We went inside the castle and drank, ate, and talked. I voiced my concers over some things the shaman said too Carolin, she seemed on edge. I offered some kind words and classic Garfunkle light humour which seemed to brighten her mood, the squire also offered a prayer or two which brightened the mood considerably.

It is then that it occured too me that getting assaulted, ambushed, mocked, waylayed, insulted, stabbed at, having spells slung at thee, and terrorised by Undead wasn't a normal occurrence for those in the room other than me. I grow wearier by the day. Whoever in the higher chain of command sees this, take this as a plea for help, the deadite attacks grow bolder every week. The shrines left outside of the Barracks and my home do not just fill me with dread. But everyone else in Cove too. Something must be done.

To finish up, we travelled back to Cove too find another shrine built outside the Barracks and several other guardsmen stating that they chased away some undead shortly before our arrival back. The Church had also been greeted by a stray pair of bloody legs.

Signed Garshinkle The Honourable, Watchmen.

P.S. I know I am but a Watchmen, and maybe commendations cannot be given out by such a low rank. But I believe Leanne at least deserves a drink for her exceptional leadership skills tonight. I for one, was not stabbed, but instead lead in a way that allowed me to fell three of the deadites.