Attempted Murder Of Garshinkle 31/07/2018

[Gary Gallo]

Garshinkle, surrounded by friends finishes the wanted posters. He picks up a blank parchment and begins writing, blood stains the page from his still bloody hands

To be passed up the chain of command,

I do not have many sketches, one finds it hard to sketch quickly when you've multiple stab wounds.
On this day the thirty first of the seventh, I was out on patrol around Cove when I was waylayed by a familiar stunningly beautiful Bandit. She wooed me with her honeyed words spoke to me for a while before getting closer telling me how strong my muscles looked and attempted to steal my bandages. Naturally I attempted to apprehend the thief, knowing she wouldn't come in willingly I blunted her in the back of her head with my Broadsword, I failed...And she stabbed me in the chest. She missed my heart, clearly saving that for later. The minx.

Anyhow, I crawled my bleeding body back too the Barracks and set too work bandaging and stitching my wound. When all of a sudden I hear someone behind me. I nay even get a chance too look behind me before I've been stabbed multiple times in the back. The pain was...Mild. The attackee definitely could have done better. I rate their attempted assassination a 5/10. Slice instead of stab next time.

The attacker said something which resonated with me, first of all, her voice was instantly recognisable as the Salty Sparrow who was getting Irate and mine and Commander Hoagie's displeasure at being forbidden from launching fruit at Nadia. Several arguments took place at the trial over the fruit throwing debate. We, like gentlemen, left and threw fruit at the walls of the courthouse instead of Nadia within the courthouse. The Waywatcher Sparrow said too me, "you need some more respect" when we were at the trial. And upon completion of stabbing me in the back Like a pansy fruit hating coward She said "That should teach you some respect". Which instantly brought to attention who had stabbed me.

Luckily the Grenadier Raven stumbled upon the scene shortly after the Assaultee had Bugger'd off left the scene of the crime. With Grenadier Raven's aid we hastily patched me up. Then a high ranking officer of Yew arrived amongst Kobra, Miss 'Arper and later on Tingleith and Saerandir. Luckily Marcus Kobra replaced the stitches and identified that I had been poisoned and quickly fixed it. I am however barred from drinking. This makes the seventh stabbing since I became a guard.

If apprehended we should indeed question them, but I would lke to make note of what i believe to be a worthy punishment. All of Cove gets to throw fruit at her until we get bored of throwing fruit at her. Her arse is also to be branded with a Cataloupe.

-Garshinkle The Honourable, Watchmen.