The Covetowne Gazette - The World's Least Biased Newspaper
This week Cove was rocked by a series of brutal muggings, robberies, and vile acts of vandalism perpetrated by a dastardly group known only as the "Habberdashers," often shortened to "The Hats." Little is known about these criminals except what their victims have managed to stammer through their tears and wails of despair.
"e' wore 'ah blood red waistcoat an' 'ah straw hat," stammered young Aeryn O'Niall before bursting into tears as she remembered the night when she was nearly killed by one of the well-beheadwared fiends.
Reports of other incidents, such as graffitti on the walls of the Church, random and vicious muggings, break-ins, and spontaneous acts of verbal assault have been reported.
"What is shocking," said one Covian man, "is that the Army has seemingly done very little to stop these criminals. I can hardly sleep at night knowing these people are on the loose!"
One guardsman we spoke with waved the criminals off as a "petty street gang." The question remains; who are they, what do they want, and who is leading them?
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Torrak Keres and Kas Valentine arrested, Tried, and....WHAT!?In other news, Watchman Torrak Keres and Regular
Arcanist Guardsman Kas Valen
wytchtine were arrested this previous week on charges of Conspiracy to Commit Murder. This Sunday they were tried on those charges!
The trial went rather poorly, with the audience repeatedly interrupting and hurling projectiles at the defendants. Undaunted, they made their stand.
Sources from inside the courtroom report that the prosecution made a strong case, and that for a long time it seemed the guardsmen were doomed. However, Watchman Keres, sources said, made a heroic defense, refuting many of the prosecution's claims before finally sitting down. Regular Valentine,
likely to avoid incriminating himself, only asked Mister Keres one question before retiring.
As the trial drew to a close, the Magistrate returned to the room to announce the verdict...
NOT GUILTY on the charges of Conspiracy, "But"..
Before he could finish, several Yewish Militiamen accosted him and, showing their true attitude towards the Lord's Justice, assaulted both the Magistrate and the Defendants! When the proverbial smoke had cleared, the Yewish were marching Regular Valentine out of the room while Watchman Keres hid behind a table.
Have the Yewish lost their minds? Does Yew no longer recognize the authority of the Church? Is Regular Valentine destined for the gallows,
as that vile wytch deserves? What was the Magistrate going to say before he was interrupted?
Stay posted for the answers to these questions and more with...
THE COVETOWN GAZETTE
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Linaeus C. Blackwind; Reporter, Editor, Printer(OOC Note:
The names in the journals in screenshots are not IC knowledge under any circumstances. This newspaper is liberally tossed about on the ground and front steps throughout town the morning after it is printed, and the stories in it are IC information. The names mentioned -in the text- may be treated as IC information.)
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