Leading: Torrak Keres, Destroyer of Wytchifacts/Mercenary
Attending: Takeamada, Mercenary
Hoagie, Mercenary Sergeant
Raiden Morrana, Commander (aided in navigation, left early)
Mission: To destroy a heat-emitting, possibly dangerous Wytchcraft Artifact.
Outcome: Navigational Failure, Operational Success
So aftar training I remembered that der was still an Artifact I needed t'destroy, and the Church'd told meh it'd be my head if'n the Artifacts were nay destroyed quickleh. With dis in mind, I gathered up th'men left over from training and we set out.
Weh promptly got lost - it was Sarge's fault. Luckileh, 'ah have a natural ability t'find cold places, and we was headin' for the dungeon of Ice.
So weh wandars around in enemeh territory, happen 'pon th'home o'some Loyalists, but nay feck with'et ter much - th'mission were more importan', then realize we's gone way ter far West. We turned around and followed th'coast Northeast until we finally found the right path. It was at this point that the Commander retired for the evening. Unaffected, we charged in and gave the ratmen a good thrashing. We battered and bloodied our way to a bridge spanning an underground river and hurled the Artifact into the water.
Upon reviewing my orders, I realized they stated to leave the item "amongst the ice fiends". "Oh shyte." I muttered. They also said to make sure the Ratmen could'nay get to it. Bein' th' Artifact-destroying genius that I am, 'ah told the men that the orders said t'exterminate the ratmen.
We charged in, bows...blazin' and swords...hitting things, and slaughtered hundreds of the beasts as wave aftar wave o'em came at us.
At one point me crossbow jammed an' 'ah had ter kill ten o'em with me bare hands. Sarge and Take' were nay help at all, and 'ah pretteh much single-handedleh won the entire battle. Sarge and Take' performed admirableh.
Loot gathered: 17,000 shillings
Distributed: 3,000 shillions (1,000 to each participant)
For The Coffers: 14,000 shillings
Things learned:
- Sarge cinnae navigate
- Sarge doesnt always know where his torch is
- Ratmen have teeth, very sharp teeth
- Ratmen travel in packs of up to 3 gazillion
- Ice Fiends arent at type of River
*signed sloppily*
Torrak Keres, Vanquisher of the Ice Vermin/Destroyer of Wytchifacts/Mercenary
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