Book of Atrus

[Atrus Kien]

They say when your a baby you dont remember anything that happened to you. Your mind hasnt fully grown yet. That is not the case of me though, I remember everything.

I remember it was cold, very cold. I could hear the wind as it was howling through the night air crashing againt the windows of our little home.  I could also hear a womans cry for help and two men saying "it is alright, it will be over soon" . The smell was like anything i never knew then. Hot and sticky. With one last cry from my mother I popped out of her. I wasnt crying or anything, I had no reason to cry. I was there, in my father's arms, trying to open my eyes to see the world around me. I wasnt a very handsome baby or ugly in any which way. I was just normal looking, that would become a not so normal child. When I firsted open my eyes, it was all blury and I couldnt really see anything past my nose. As I try to focus in I could see a man, my father, holding me. He had very light colored hair. Like golden wheat. It was short but flowed enough that it looked like wheat in a wheat field. He didnt have any beard but what it seemed to be scruff all over his chin and cheeks. As my father looked closer at me his face shown a warm and loving to a shocked and feared. He said something that I didnt know at the time was but now I know. He said I had daemon eyes. One eye was golden like the sun itself, and the other was silver like the moon. My father gave me to the other guy that was in the room with my parent and told him to get rid of me. The man wrapped me up into a blanket and before we left my mother and father behind I heard my father told my mother that I didnt make it and that I died. I heared the door close behind me and now felt the cold wind against my face.

I heard her weep. It wasnt fair to me or to her that my father lied like that. I saw him but I never saw who she was. I dont know anything about her. Nothing. I hate him for it. If I ever saw him again I would really show him what a daemon can do. I dont know why my eyes are the way they are but I dont care. I am not a monster or some daemon from oblivion. I am human and I call myself Atrus.

[Atrus Kien]

The man that left with me. My hero I guess. He was supposed to destory me, but he didnt. He told me away, far away from everything.

I heard bells. Like the ones from a church. Then back to nothing. Just breathing of the man that was carrying me away. I dont know why he was doing this, nor why he really cared. I just knew that something inside of me knew I could trust him, knew something was warm and kind inside him. Slowly I fell asleep again, but when I woke up, I could feel heat. Like a fire was burning, or some coals. I heard talking in the background and I shift my eyes around to get a better view. My hero. He was sitting down with two other people. One was a female, she had rich wavey blonde hair that fell past her shoulders. She was abit plump and tiny. The other person, the male had red color hair, the kind like it was in fire. He was huge. Bigger then a mountain. As I watched on I knew they were talking about me. My hero kept on pointing at me and waveing his hands around. Just then he stood up and walked over to me. Thats when I saw him, my hero. He was tall, and had a hard looking face on him. Deepest shade of black hair and the brightest set of honey color eyes, but they seemed sad or full of pain. He gave me a lop sided grin and picked me up. He walked me over to the woman and gave me to her. My hero said his good byes and left. Just like that I was alone again. Even if I had people around me.

I will never forget his face, my hero, my friend....

[Atrus Kien]

As time itself seemed to pass like a wild fire, time still didnt matter to me. I left the couple as soon as I could walk and talk. It might not have been the smartest thing I have ever done but I felt it to be right. (atleast thats what I hoped at the time) I notice early on that I was very different from the other children. I was a bit smaller then the normal at my age with eyes to match. I didnt really get picked on by all means, they just all avoided me. I was alone for the better part of my childhood, until that one day. The more I think about it the more I cringe. If that had never happened. If only I was strong enough. Yea, yea, yea I heard it all before. Maybe if I wasnt so weak back then I could have killed my father that day.

If only...

[Atrus Kien]

Nightmares come and nightmare go, but it seems when I have nightmares they stay. Or atleast this one did.

I didnt scream or anything, I just jumped up from my bed. As my eyes focus to the rooms darkness I can hear everything that is happening in this house. My home, my Keep. I can hear my brother on the first floor sleeping away, like nothing was ever wrong. I am not mad at him anymore but I'll let him think it still. The fires going in there places keeping my home warm. Living in the mountains it is always cold up here but I like my space, my private place to get away from all the fights, from all the death. Then I hear her, my eyes focus on the darkness as I look over to her. My love, my future wife. She sleeps so easily next to me. Breathing in and out without a worry in the world. In my whole life time I would have never of thought I would get so lucky. I have a family now, bigger then I would have ever of dreamed of. She moves alittle turning to face me, still alseep, but I love to watch her sleep. So peacefully.

I swig my legs over to the side of the bed and reach down to get my pants from the floor. I dont always sleep naked its just, you know, but as soon as I pulled them up I headed down stairs to the kitchen area. I washed my face in the trough. It wasnt a hot night but it wasnt cold either, or atleast in here it wasnt. I could always hear the wind blowing outside. Like before, its always cold up here. Nothing new. I headed back up with a bottle of water and set it down on the table next to me. I took a swig before taking off my pants again and slip back into the bed. Kiera didnt even notice I left, or if she did, she never lets on. Sometimes I just wish I can tell her everything, but I am afraid. Somethings are best left alone in the past. I know she trusts me and she would even die for me, not like I would ever let that happen.

I rest my head down onto the pillow and shut my eyes again. Might not get so much sleep tonight, but atleast I'm still alive.

That is good right...?

[Atrus Kien]

Standing on a cliff I look out and see what this place has to offer me. I looked over my shoulder to see Victor walking up to me. He patted me on the shoulder and smiled some. Like always nothing I do ever bothers him, or if it does he never tells me. I still cant believe I agreed to this. Maybe he was right and I am loyal to a fault. Doesnt matter now though, walking for weeks now, how many I lost count, but we are still not to this place. Vic said it was a place full of magic. It would help my powers grow. I gaze up at the sky and look back when he came before me. I wanted to blasted him so badly but no matter how mad I was, I couldnt hurt the man who raised me like his own. Even if he is my Uncle. At the very least I could kill the man who raised me anyway. I looked back to Victor seeing him heading down the slope. He really hasnt said much these past few days. The only thing he really ever says is warnings. Making sure I dont get hurt. I wonder if he felt bad for leaving me the way he did. When I ask he never tells me anything, or he will talk about something else. My hair is growing back longer and longer and maybe within two or three weeks I can have it up in a ponytail. Victor's hair is growing too, though he shaves it everytime it gets long. I think he likes the bald look. Happy thing for me is my beard is growing in. Its not much now but it will grow more in time.

I wonder how everyone is doing? Maybe when Vic isnt looking I'll send a letter to Mum, maybe.

[Atrus Kien]

I dont know where we are anymore. I sent my owl out to my mum a few weeks ago but havent heard anything. The last thing I remember was grabbing Victors leg as we both fell - waking up -  and climbing out. Its not the world I knew though. It was different. We fell from the place full of life but came back to a world of death. Vic left to go scout around to see where we ended up in but that was a few days ago. I fear that maybe he died by some creature and if thats so I should really start to move on. Where should I go though? I really wish mum was here. She would know what to do, she always seems to know what to do. I swallow back the lump of fear thats growing in me and start walking east - atleast that what I hope was east.

I rub away the tears that were coming down from my eyes. Why am I so weak now? Me - crying like I was a little child. Pityful little child.  I continue walking and saw not far what looks like a camp. I walked over to it closely making sure the people didnt end up turning around and attacking me. I saw people walking around. A good sign? Maybe I should have trained to be a scout more then a spell user like my mother. And I do say that lightly only because I tried to use a spell and it didnt work, either that or this place is weaking my powers. I dont know either way. I carefully - bending down to a crawl saw what was going on. It looked like a blood bath. I did see people that wasnt a lie but some where standing and kneeing down over the bodies. Like they came to late in an attack. I sat still watching closely. There was something different about the people though.

I saw something out of stories. Those people were eatting the bodies - no - they were drinking them. The blood - they were drinking up the blood. The voice into my head told me to run away - far away. But the hero inside me to fight and kill. But how? Without my magic I am no better then Miss Bingo. Weakling. I knew I couldnt do anything, all those times when Vic tried to train me with his swords I wish I listen more. One of the monster lifted up his head and looked all around, like he heard me. But I knew it couldnt be. I was no nightwalker but I knew how to be quiet. Training has taught me that much. He seemed different then what the others were. Though as I looked around it was really only two more. He had copper brown hair and features that would make women swoon all over. I only saw a glimse of his eyes though. Black. Both of them. Souless pits of the underworld. I screamed as hard as I could - on the inside of course. I back away slowly but as fast as I could. I got out of there.

As soon as I knew I was in the clear I ran as fast as I could go. Like if I was running away from mum when she had a fireball in her hand. That type of running away. Yea, I was running fast. Only problem I really wasnt looking where I was going and ran into a sandstone wall...

[Atrus Kien]

I dont know how long its been now. I dont remember much of anything anymore. The only thing I know is I was caught by the very things that I saw eating people, but in fact I was wrong. They weren't eating them, they were drinking them. I later found out I am in a different world then my own. Same places like normal but different people and things. Its very odd here but the more I stay around the more I learn. My "keepers" let me out of my prison when they are back from hunting. I dont know why they just dont go ahead and kill me already. I can't use my powers here no matter how much I try.

I count down the days til either I break free from them or they kill me...

[Atrus Kien]

My life... where has it gone to? Nothing seems to ever go right for me now. I escaped from my own doom but now it seems that I got another problem...

The smell of burning flesh and wood is in the air tonight. A raid? A accident? Who knows now. I dont know what really drew me into that way but I am glad I did go. Fire was still everything.... and so was the bodies. The village was small one but I can see everyone litter the ground. Is this my curse, to see everything that is bad in this world of unknown? Deep within the vocie of darkness I hear crying. A child is crying. As fast as I could run seeing to it. My heart stopped as I saw what happened before me...

A woman beated and bloody getting raped by men. Its not like she was fighting anymore, she was dead. Hopelessness was lost then and there and replaced by anger and hate. As I scream I charged them. All of them. Burning hot in my heart my hands became burning hot with fire then my body. It was black fire. This was the power of blackrock I had on me....


I killed them all. Every single one of them. I burned there bodies to ash. Nothing but darkness fulled my heart. How can anyone do something so horrorable?

The crying....

I turned to see what was really crying. This poor woman had been dead for a while know so it wouldnt have come from her. Looking into the bushes I saw something covered in a blanket. It was a baby girl. I picked up the child carefully and took her away with me. Her first life had died this day but now her second life will start.

Turning back around to that day I see how such a girl would grow up. I see in her power. Her arua is burning bright, like that same fire. Never knewing her name from before I will call her.... Kaida Adara, meaning "Little Dragon Fire".

On days like these I look back to my life. Its has been how many years now since I found her. Five maybe? She is growing so fast. When I finally find my way back to my home, I will be taking her with me. I am her father now and forever....

[Atrus Kien]

Burning hatered in my heart is growing more and more each day I am in the place I shouldnt be. The only kindness I show is towards my daughter. I know now how Victor must of felt towards me. He isnt my father but he is, samething goes to my mother. Ilyana. Damn I miss her so much. I miss all my family. Kiera, I wish I can tell you how much I truely love you. Day after night I look at my ring. This small piece of blackrock for this small piece of man.

I try to make through my life, in my way there's .....

[Atrus Kien]

Its my life, don't you forget it...

I think my time of that world... that different world made me a different man. I am better then I was before. Stronger, faster, smarter. And none of it I saw coming. I'm getting married. Not even to Kiera either. The one soul of my life when I was away. The one thing that kept my mind at peace with itself. No, I am marrying a Vesperian. Her name is Willow and she is the light in my life. Her and Kaida (Lil Dragon) Kien, Hayliegh (Lil Wolf) Kien and now my son that Willow is carrying in her. I never been so happy in my life then right now. At this very moment. Of course Willow being a Vesperian there are some things that, well.... Y'know how Vesperians are. She told me everyone about her past and then some but I, even though I want to tell her so badly find it so hard to. I told her what she has asked of me and deny her nothing of myself. But its just the past is just to hard for me to face. My family has never been the best of people towards me after all. Veltan is dead, Ghen is somewhere, Victor is somewhere, Zelana is somewhere and Dreyden is in Vesper. I don't like the idea that he is there but there is nothing I can do. I know him from my past and that's really it. Sometimes I wonder if that book will be closed. Maybe one day, but for right now I am very happy. I have a family of my own who loves me just as much as I love them all.

I am twenty one years old and of all the good and bad times I have been through I know in my heart that it is only the beginning. But as Victor told me once "Your Power will be the one who will pierce the heavens!" I do believe him and I will become stronger. I will protect my home. I will protect Cove, and most of all I WILL protect my family!

[Atrus Kien]

There's a part of me you'll never know
The only thing I'll never show

Hopelessly I'll love you endlessly
Hopelessly I'll give you everything
But I won't give you up
I won't let you down
And I won't leave you falling
If the moment ever comes

It's plain to see it's trying to speak
Cherished dreams forever asleep
Hopelessly I'll love you endlessly
Hopelessly I'll give you everything
But I won't give you up
I won't let you down
And I won't leave you falling
If the moment ever comes

Hopelessly I'll love you endlessly
Hopelessly I'll give you everything
But I won't give you up
I won't let you down
And I won't leave you falling
But the moment never comes

-Endlessly-