Monday's Maulin' 'n' Munchin'

[Kelly Sanderson]

TWO PART REPORT: Monday's Maulin' 'n' Munchin'

Led by:
Raiden Morana, Captain
Kelly Sanderson, Sergeant

Attending:
Shadwell, Baron's Adjutant
Ilyana Drachen, Senior Arcanist
Marcus Kobra, Officer Cadet
Cailin Keres, Officer Cadet
Sergio Jarrett, Regular Guardsman
Jassi Cowin, Regular Guardsman
Abigail Keres, Junior Arcanist
Sheriam Palmer, Junior Guardsman
Saerandir, Junior Guardsman
Tingleith, Untrusted Watchman

Axiana, Patrician

The evening's events began. Captain Morana rounded up the lads whilst I laid out the first challenge. A grand Covian Pie Eating Contest. They were too eager, queuing up for the challenge of the pies as the paintings above depict.

Unknown to the competitors, the winner would only have their face dunked into a fresh cream cake that they'd 'won'. It turns out the Baronship is full of cheaters, indeed. Including our very own groom-to-be Captain Morana. Palming his pies off onto the table next to him. Disqualified, he was.

Both Keres' made grand efforts with their bottomless pit stomachs, almost taking the lead. Senior Drachen also had a good go, but I am positive she must have fed some to someone's dog. I conclude that she must have magicked them into her stomach. I thought the Baron's Adjutant would have had a better apetite, but he came last. Hardly ate a mouthful!

But it was Junior Saerandir who was to win the battle of the tasty meat pies. His face was ceremoniously dunked right into the middle of the winner's cream cake.  

We then took the men to the orc fort, so that they could spew it all back up again...
Captain Morana's report to follow for part two of the evening's events.



*Signed*
Kelly Sanderson, Sergeant

[Raiden Morana]

Led by:
Raiden Morana, Captain
Kelly Sanderson, Sergeant

Attending:
Ilyana Drachen, Senior Arcanist
Marcus Kobra, Officer Cadet
Sergio Jarrett, Regular Guardsman
Jassi Cowin, Regular Guardsman
Sheriam Palmer, Junior Guardsman
Saerandir, Junior Guardsman
Tingleith, Untrusted Watchman

Axiana, Patrician.


With their bellies full of pie, the Sergeant and I decided to sweat or sick it out of the men! Forced march to the orc fort to cleanse it and keep our civilian observer, Patrician Masteen, free from harm.

Two of our most slovenly soldiers, Tingleith and Cowin, earned the men my ire by constantly charging off instead of staying in close attendance to the Patrician as ordered.

With the fort cleared of greenskins, another forced march took us the the graveyard. By this time the lads had spewed up what was left in their guts and we made short work of the shades and zombies haunting our fallen.

A curious cow was cremated by Kobra, so that it could nay roam the Shire at full moon.

Our work done, we headed back to barracks for a free for all. However we were rudely interrupted by a Vesperian galley that loosed a broadside at the barracks! Yet again, Tingleith and Cowin displayed their lack of brains and discipline by charging aboard the enemy vessel and were promptly knocked on their arses and dumped in the bay.

Nay doubt giving the Vesperians spirit's a lift and emboldening them to make further sorties into Covian lands, which mayhaps they would not, following our thrashing of them a day previous.

The Sergeant and I charged one of our Scouts with sneaking into Vesper to ascertain their strength and likelihood of any further imminent threats.

*signed*


Raiden Morana, Captain.

[The Paymaster]

5 shillings awarded - Axiana Masteen, Patrician.