Basic training reportOrdered by: Highlander Corporal Delcarakdur.
Led by: Regular Guardsman Kas Valentine.
Attended by: Junior Guardsman Edmund Rufus, Junior Guardsman Regdar, Guardsman Recruit Lareth, Regular Highlander Raiden Morana, Junior Guardsman Jack Sinist, Regular Highlander Thomas Sendrich, Junior Dragoon Nicholi, Junior Scout Cor'Ari Ta, Watchman Yue Yan, Junior Scout Olchafa Serpernt, Junior Dragoon Vincent Redfield, Regular Grenadier Gimbly, Officer Cadet Vince Valentine.
Once we returned to the barracks after fighting off a small force of Kaldorians I rang the barrack's bell and ordered all available guardsmen to the rooftop for training. It took some time for them all to get up the stairs, but eventually a line formed before my marvellous stool of Command.
Sitting, the position of Command.
Kas Valentine: "Right then, time to begin, any late comers will just have to chuffing well catch up. I see that you all hold your heads up high, as though proud of yourselves. Well let me tell you, although some of you are rough and tough while others sport bellies not unlike my own, you could ALL do with some relentless unforgiving exercise."
....and with that I ordered the entire squad on a run to the northern crossroads of Compassion desert and back again. Of course I would have to be there to make sure no-one cheated so I gathered up my stool of Command and invoked the spell of recall to the location they would soon arrive at.
The weather was sunny and pleasant at the crossroads so I cooled myself down and awaited the approach of the coming guardsmen.
Hard work this leadership business.
Surprisingly enough my apprentice Regdar was the first to arrive, looking fresh as a daisy and ready for more
punishment exercise. I had Regdar form the beginnings of a line and soon enough it was filled out as more and more guardsmen arrived at the crossroads. Regular Grenadier Gimbly arrived looking slightly worse for wear and instantly began pleading for me to take him back via magical enchantment.
Gimbly: "Please open a portal, just for you and I, come on sir I need it ! I've got a rare condition known only to slightly senile bald men, I swear I'll die."
Kas Valentine: "I believe that condition has a name Gimbly, they call it poppycock, you will run back to the barracks as ordered."
Once Gimbly and the guardsmen had set off I gathered my stool and teleported back to the barracks to greet them with open arms (or at least unlimited scorn). I had time to fix my hair and get comfortable on the stool of Command before a slow trickle of Covians marched up to the rooftop.
Have pity for the Baron's Own.
Now I'm not a cruel man, having seen what my run did to most of the guardsmen I decided it was probably high time I gave them something relaxing to do.
Kas Valentine: "You over there stop that wheezing and can someone pick up the Grenadier please...? Thank you very much. To continue your training for this evening we will follow up your physical exercise with some mental strain. Oh yes, that's right my pets, EQUIPMENT CHECK."
The equipment was as follows;
Halberds: Everything was in order except for Yue Yan and Vincent Redfield who claimed they weren't strong enough to wield such weapons of war. I listened to their concerns and then scribbled a note to contact a worthy blacksmith and have some crafted especially.
Bedrolls: Young Vince Valentine had a somewhat disturbing brown stain on his bedding which I insisted he taste to prove it was "nothing special". However Redfield quickly informed me that old brown stains can be fatal if consumed so I quickly stopped the Officer Cadet and went on with my inspection.
A few of the guardsman claimed they prefered to sleep on the ground (Nicholi, Jack Sinist) whereas others (Vincent Redfield, Edmund Rufus) had no need for sleep whatsoever. Aside from that all the sleeping materials appeared to be in order.
Bandages: Each and every guardsmen had a splendid amount of clean bandages, even Vince. However the Watchmistress Yue Yan had an accident in her backpack which resulted in her bandages smelling faintly of jasmine. Once I had inhaled the sweet fragrance there was no going back, I insisted that in future everyone should follow her delightful example.
Torches: Some guardsmen had torches, some guardsmen could see in the dark and one of them even had a really posh lantern thing. Either way if they suddenly become trapped in the forests after dark, visibility will not be a problem.
Outcome of equipment check: Satisfactory.
Kas leaves a stool sample behind when he stands up.
At this point I lost my Grenadiers, Vince and Gimbly were called away by Senior Guardsman Grief Dryfh Gry to help with the Kaldorian prisoner. Since the guardsmen had excelled at the running and equipment checking I decided to allow them some battle games.
I elected Jack and Vincent as leaders and instructed them to form two teams.
Once they had picked their members they looked a little like this;
Team Block O'Rock:
Vincent Redfield
Thomas Sendrich
Cor'Ari Ta
Yue Yan
Nicholi
Team Stab Yo'Face:
Jack Sinist
Raiden Morana
Edmund Rufus
Regdar
Lareth
The rules were as follows;
- No special moves
- The defending team stays in place
- The attacking team attempts to drop the defenders
- After the first round the teams switch places
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When everyone was clear on the rules I cast a magical wall in the center of the ring with the instruction that they begin battle when it disappeared.
The wall dropped and battle commenced.
The Covian rumble.
Team Stab Yo'Face walked away with the first round after a valiant attempt at defence by young Redfield. The teams reformed but unfortunately Vincent had to address some urgent business and so Olchafa Serpernt took his place on
Team Block O'Rock.
The second round commenced with Sinist's team defending.
Jack explains his intricate methods to the phillistines.
Sadly I forgot to review the rules to our new member and some special moves found their way to
Team Stab Yo'Face thus disqualifying the second round (despite victory by
Team Block O'Rock). I proposed a second round but Sinist disagreed and accepted defeat despite the unfair advantages his team had faced.
At this point Sinist and Sendrich had to attend some pressing duties so I granted them dismissal and ordered the remaining guardsmen back into a line. They were clearly eager for more battle so I ordered a last man standing. However once in position they seemed a little slow to begin so I shouted some encouragement....
Kas Valentine: "Come on you lot I want to see blood, tears and heartbreak!"
.....and the final battle got underway.
Show me the suffering !
In the end Vincent Redfield emerged as the victor despite several long battles with his fellow guardsmen. I organised the men and women and complimented their fine display of skill in service of the mighty Baronship. With a tip of my cap and a hearty salute I dismissed them all from duty.
I am your father !
They all performed brilliantly and will doubtless be a great service to Cove.
State of the guardsmen: Well equipped and ready for battle.
(I may have missed one or two names, if this is the case, please contact me in writing)
*signed beautifully in long flowing handwriting*
Regular Guardsman Kas Valentine[/i].
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