*A report submitted in triplicate, two-hole punched, stamped, dated, signed, and laced with a Covian ribbon.*
A Report of Watchman Faden Wildheart's Mission into a cavernous dungeon known as Wrong.
By Jakob D'Stoke, Guardsman Recruit.
Watchman Wildheart called a formation with the purpose of exploring dungeon Wrong. Reporting for duty were Guardsman Recruit Zoie Hayden, Regular Dragoon Thomas Sendric, Watchman Maldraedior, and yours truly.
At first we made it to the wrong dungeon instead of to Dungeon Wrong. We found ourselves in Wind after the magic used to open the gate had gone awry. Thank Avatar that we did not appear somewhere far worse and missing limbs! After some corrections, another gate was opened, and risking our lives for the greater glory of Cove, we stepped in, appearing this time at the entrance to the right dungeon - that is to say, Dungeon Wrong.
The dungeon was dark as could be. We lit torches and made our way forward. Coming to a T passage we were met by several lizardmen and ogres. These creatures were immediately hostile and we had to slay them promptly. I am curious if there are lizardwomen and ogre females, not that I would want to meet either.
We took the passage to the left which made way to a series of cells. No prisoners were seen, but we were attacked by a few more lizardmen and ogres. We continued and arrived to what looked like a kitchen. By the look of the mutilated corpses around the blood covered kitchen it was evident that we were on the menu. The place filled us with horror, and Dragoon Sendric commented that it reminded him of his marriage. Did he mean she was a cannibal, just horrible, or a terrible cook? I did not pry further.
Winding our way back, we took the passage to the right. This passage gave way to a room that was equipped with various torture equipment and more mutilated corpses. As soon as we came to the torture chamber we were set upon by a wildmen bearing fearsome axes, and by wytches casting spells of fire at us. We were in a fight for our lives, but we survived with only a few wounded. I was knocked out and made to hit the ground, but was revived soon after.
With a thunderous headache, we made our way back outside. Warchman Faden determined that our performance warranted much more training and ordered us back to the barracks for cadre and drills.
This report is respectfully submitted for the record.
For Cove! For the Baron!
- Guardsman Recruit Jakob D'Stoke
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