Following in the footsteps my senior in the Dragoons, renowned guardsman and egotist Joey Lanai, I will be attempting to collect every trophy from the list. Some of them I already have on my shelf, but they were from a time when I had more hair, fewer wrinkles, and better knees. So I threw them into the bay. And I will get them again. Who will join me in this quest for glory?!

Golden Talon Of The Serpentine Swooper (100)
Jaws of the Balron Trophy
Heads of the Guardians
Tooth of a Bone Dragon
Hair of the Snow Lady (100)
Essence of a Void Demon
Ethereal Scales of the Shadow Wyrm
Grand Fang Of The Dragon Lord
Bone of a Succubi
Staff on an Ancient Liche
Tongue of a Golden Dragon
Golden Blood Vial of the Elemental
Axe of a Yomutsu Elder
Leg bone of the Skeletal Lich
Golden Stone Feather
Belt of a Golden Eternal Wytch
Fur Of The Beserk Bear
Tentacle of the Leviathan
Horn of a Yamandon
Ashes of the Lich Lord
Fang of a Dread Spider
Golden Tooth of a Balron Lord (250)
Hand of the betrayers leader
Mechanical Arm of a Golden Exodus Minion
Vial of diseased blood
The Skull of a Bone Demon
Claw of the Wyrm
Eye of the Gazer
Golden Claw of a Wyrm Elder
Horn of the Minotaur
Golden Fang of a Succubi Mistress
Head of the Dread Horn

Hoagie sat in his room above the town hall, down the hallway from Raiden and Kelly's rooms. He was reflecting on the officer's meeting, in particular Raiden's expression when it was suggested that he be put in charge of the navy.

Laughter echoed down the hall.

Dear diary,

The breakfast sandwich today was dry. Too dry. The tensions with Vesper are becoming unbearable. No longer able to get the butter that I like.

Must conquer Vesper. Obtain butter supplies.

Dear Editor of the Covetowne Gazette,

Shadwell licks goats.

Warmest regards,
Commander Hoagie Grayner A concerned citizen.

[Introduction]

Introduction

SEXY GYPSY:  Welcome, one and all, to the one and only showing of the North’s greatest true and tragic tale. Hold back tears as you watch the reenactment of the events that took place on that fateful night all those years ago, when savage orcs attacked Cove in the dead of night. Unleash your cheers as you see the fire of the Covian spirit in response. I give you… the Rage of Raaz.

Act I

SEXY GYPSY: The beginning of our story sees our two lovers walking through Cove town.

RAAZ: Oh Barry. I feel so lucky that I, a simple farm hand, could be engaged to you, a noble tailor.

They kiss.

BARRY: I feel the same way, Raaz. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you. But joyfully giving so much time to you, I am struggling to balance my work as a tailor with my other passion: campaigning for a program to reform and civilise the orcs.

RAAZ: Oh, Barry. Must you persist with that? We have all told you a thousand times that orcs cannot be civilised. They're just too beastly.

BARRY: So they say! But I'm sure that soon, we will all be much closer to those misunderstood, green, friends. What is freedom without tolerance for those who are different to ourselves? I must go, my love, work awaits. Shall I see thee later?

RAAZ: Yes, my love. I hope that when I see you next, you have reconsidered this silliness.

They kiss again, Barry leaves.
Lightning strikes. It begins to rain. Crows.

RAAZ: Oh, Barry...

Interlude

Gypsy and Sexy Gypsy walk on stage.

GYPSY: What do you call a dead orc?

SEXY GYPSY: I don’t know, what do you call a dead orc?

GYPSY: A step in the right direction!

SEXY GYPSY: Ha! What’s the difference between an orc and a member of the Vesperian militia?

GYPSY: What?

SEXY GYPSY: One is rude, green, smelly, and not fit for polite society. The other is an orc!

They exit the stage.

Act II

SEXY GYPSY: Unfortunately for our lovers, a peaceful future was not theirs to have. One fateful night, orcs swarmed from their fort to the south of Cove and overran the town!"

Barry wanders, scared, through Cove. Orcs run to and fro. They surround him.

ORC BOSS: I iz an orc and I iz know nothing but to kill!

BARRY: Oh, noble orc, we may have our differences, but surely we can live in peace? Can we not be... friends?

ORC BOSS: Yub, hoomie. Orc and humie, friend.

The orc extends its hand in friendship. Barry shakes it as the other orcs clap and cheer.

ORC BOSS: Hur hur hur, stoopid humie. Orc iz no friend! Orc iz MONSTER!

The orc stabs him in the gut and they all run off laughing.
Raaz enters from the other side of the stage.

RAAZ: BARRY! BARRY, WHERE ARE YOU?!

She runs frantically to and fro. Barry is barely concealed behind some bushes. She finds him.

BARRY: It is I, your lover, Barry! I am not long for this world, my love. I am undone! I thought we could live in peace with the orcs, but 'twas folly!

RAAZ: Barry, you must live! I cannot go on without you!

BARRY: My love... I am undone! ‘Twas not the orcish blades that slew me, but my foolish notions. I shall see thee again in the presence of Avatar.

Barry dies dramatically. Really go for it.

RAAZ: NOOOOOOOOOOO! [for as long as breath allows]

Interlude

The two gypsies walk onto the stage.

GYPSY: Tell me another joke, Sexy Gypsy!

SEXY GYPSY: Hey, what do you call…

Orc Boss and some orcs rush onto the stage and brutally murder the two gypsies. They run off stage, dragging the two gypsies with them.

Act III

SEXY GYPSY: We see Raaz outside of her house, wracked by grief and fury. Her true love taken from her, she contemplates death and revenge.

Raaz paces outside her house.

RAAZ: I can not live in this world without my love, Barry. A noble man, but his heart was so big it was taking up the space where his brain should have been!

Oh, Barry! Gentle Barry! I shall not draw another breath while a single orc lives to breathe the same air. I shall not tread this Covian soil while orcish footprints mar it!

A noble pursuit, made impossible by the ignoble nature of the beasts that he meant to tame. Oh, Barry! All orcs are beasts and must face the fate of a beast! We can NEVER co-exist! Anyone who says otherwise is a fool! Oh, Barry!

The orcs come back on stage, laughing and waving their weapons menacingly. Raaz picks up a pitchfork.

ORC BOSS: We sure show dese dumb humies who iz real boss. Klomp them! Take deir shiniez!

RAAZ: Foul beast! Black hearted rogue! You brought death and suffering to our fair town, and now I shall visit a thousand times the suffering upon you! ARRRGGHHH!

Raaz charges them. They fight. Raaz slays all but the orc leader. Raaz and the orc leader run each other through, simultaneously.

ORC BOSS: Stupid humie. Mub die, but mub brothers live on. Revenge!

RAAZ: We shall slay you where we find you. For... Barry. For... COVE!

They both die. Curtain falls.

Finale

Sexy Gypsy enters.

SEXY GYPSY: Thank you one and all for bearing witness to Cove’s greatest tragedy, the tale of The Rage of Raaz. This is the story behind one of the most coveted medals of the Covian Army, handed out for continued displays of tactical excellence and combat prowess. This play is dedicated to all those who have fought and shed blood for Cove, from the greenest recruit to those who have paid the ultimate sacrifice.

Sexy Gypsy exits, preferable cartwheeling and/or back flipping.

Serj walks out, bows, and performs “Marchin’ Up To Vesper”. The rest of the cast come join him at the end. All bow.

Fin.

Dear Regular Cowin,

The army is your family now. Your dedication to it does not "get in the way" of things.

You have two days to get your head right, after which you will be required to lead a hunt to the brigand fort and slay one bandit for every day absent.

Dear Cadet Melior,

I'm sure this is a ploy to avoid field work. You scouts are tricky like that.

Get back to proper work when you can.

Dear Valentino,

We'll hash out the details once it's too late to back out you arrive.

*Hoagie reads the letter slowly, sipping from a mug of ale. He pulls his writing kit out and begins writing the response.*

Dear Kas Valentine,

Glad to hear that you're still alive! Should you return to your previous post, we can offer you the following:

* Room and board in a new, recently renovated property.
* Competitive salary.
* Total war against Magincia should they come knocking. Debt? What debt? Who is this "Kas Valentine" you speak of? Well you can speak to the cannons.

If you're done sunning yourself on the shores of your money hungry creditors, Cove awaits.

Solid sentry, guardsman. Since you're so proud of doing it all by yourself with time left over the question the Baron's decisions, I'll make sure you take the lead on all construction from now on.

Gather in Cove fields for the performance of a life time!

You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll cry, you'll cry.

*Hoagie reads the report and grunts. He sweeps it to the side of his desk, grabs a blank piece of parchment and begins writing.*

Dear Escaflowne,

...

(https://stratics.com/threads/a-letter-to-escaflowne.400229/)

[Rules & Notes]

Hi all,

In order to supplement the rank climbing fun of being a guardsman with a bit more lateral progression as well as add some targets for characters of all types, we have come up with a set of achievements!

The full list of achievements can be found here: https://jsrn.github.io/boc-achievements/

Some mirror existing promotion requirements, some are just "writing prompts" for interesting roleplay.

Track them in your character profile, back them up with reports and screenshots. Collect 'em all!

The list will grow over time, and we would love to hear ideas for any new ones!

Rules & Notes

* To keep it fresh, these achievements only apply to activities carried out in 2018 onwards.
* If you want to go for the achievements, you're responsible for your own record-keeping.
* We're going to put minimal effort into auditing these, as it's just a bit of fun, but if we realise you're claiming achievements you haven't earned, we're going to publicly make fun of you.

Thank you to Jassi Cowin for originally suggesting the idea.

"So much f'the council."

Hoagie sat down with a thud. The year had started off so optimistically. Peace and prosperity, the united forces of Cove, Vesper and Yew against the undead and evil of Sosaria. The smell of burning books still lingered in his nostrils.

He was still unsure what kicked off that little ruckus. Cove and Yew seem like natural allies, despite their differences in the past, so it's good to solidify that. Still, how did things go to the dogs so quickly with Vesper?

"Try not to think about it. The Baron commands, and we obey."

We will remember him.