Led by;
Hoagie, Captain.
Anna Jones, Commoner.
Attended by;
Kas Valentine, Senior Arcanist.
Torrak Keres, Grenadier Sergeant.
Faden Wildheart, Junior Scout.
Tsukiyomi Mori, Junior Guardsman.
Rita Whalebiter, Watchman.
Jasper Boltshot, Guardsman Recruit.
Kelban, Guardsman Recruit.
Aslin, Guardsman Recruit.
Mercy, Junior Arcanist.
We're going back a few days now but I thought it best to write of a series of treasure hunts a few of us took part in. My heartfelt apologies for the lateness of this document but I have a considerable backlog of paperwork building up at the tower what with maintaining the library and all. You see good old Captain Hoagie had agreed to call some guardsmen together to assist Anna Jones in her neverending quest for riches (I swear you can see a golden glint in her eyes sometimes). Since most of us are utterly poverty stricken scroungers or "freeloaders", agreement to completion of the task was immediate.
We had the maps, we had Kelban Longleaf for navigation and the rest of us served as firepower. Is that not a flawless plan...? Perhaps you read these words and think to yourself "damn, I bet they all came back with jangling pockets and rubies for eyeballs" or something of that nature. I'm glad that we provoke such admiration and trust but the truth of the matter is....
We're the worst gold diggers in the history of buried treasure.
Seriously, a blind homeless person with excrement rammed up his nostrils would serve as a better divining rod than the ten of us turned out to be. Instead of a glorious fortune and glory adventure our hours were spent wandering the random byways of Britannia with occasional stops in forests and miscellaneous caves. And this is without even beginning to mention the nightmare of Arcane transportation that occurred when one of the maps pointed us towards an island outside Britain.
Now credit where it was due, we utterly decimated the guardians of the chests we dug up, but this achievement was somewhat diluted by going to our grandmothers and back just to get there in the first place. I'll put our poor performance into perspective so you can truly grasp the inadequacy. Hoagie led us with clearly issued commands such as "
don't run off", "
stay with me" and "
maintain formation". The man was displaying the excellence he is widely known for. As a Senior I too was being marvellous, shadowing both his orders and his footsteps.
Everyone else was
dire.
*The word "dire" is underlined and written firmly into the parchment*
I even had to kick the stupid dog that follows Hoagie around, I guess it went crazy with the length of the journey. In conclusion we were successful but our orientation skills may need a little polishing prior to any similar jaunts in the future.
My thanks to Miss Anna Jones for the skills afforded to our party.
(PS; If anyone in attendance is not noted please list your name below)
(PPS; Additionally if anyone can recall the sum of gold secured for the coffers it would be appreciated)
Signed in rough rushed handwriting,
Senior Arcanist Kas Valentine.
Author