Hunt to the fort of the SavagesLed by: Junior Guardsman Kas Valentine.
Attended by: Watchman Dylan Freewater, Officer Cadet Kal Shadowhand.
As I arrived at the barracks Kal and Dylan had already formed a line and were anticipating the sound of my profound knowledge (or maybe their orders, who knows). I explained to them that we would be heading into the Lost Lands to a fort where a large amount of bizarre men and women had made their home. So without further delay I opened a portal and took the men through to the town of Delucia.
What a handsome fellow !
I gave the guardsmen a few words before we set off;
"Watch", "out", "for" and "Orcs".
They seemed to understand so I led them out of the gates and north towards the fort that I had in mind. Our journey there was uneventful, not a single Orc was spotted, but upon our arrival at the desert surrounding the fort we met a stranger. I didn't catch his name but he was a very polite fellow that had a knack for making the local creatures fight one another with a pluck of his lute (doubtless playing a Yewish tune). We wished each other well and set off towards the fort, today was a day for victory not for chatting !
Unfortunately our path was blocked by a huge wedge of filthy undead. As we tried to barge our way past they turned on us with all manner of magical spells, of both the arcane arts and the darker variety. We were all knocked to the floor and it was some time before we managed to pull ourselves up and fight our way back to safety.
Once we got our breath back we took an alternative route and soon found ourselves at the wall of the savage fort. I detailed my plan to Dylan and Kal;
The plan came off without a hitch due to the superior fighting ability of the two melee fighters, so much so that at some points during the battle I was able to have a relaxing munch on my emergency pie. We broke into the interior of the fort and while the men took care of the locals I set about setting the place on fire.
Burn you mother, BURN.
Once the flames were going strong I ordered the guardsmen to retreat to a safe distance and we spent the next hour or so watching the ghastly place burn to the ground. All in all it was a very successful excursion led by an exceedingly handsome young man.
Hunt to Titan beach
Led by: Junior Guardsman Kas Valentine.
Attended by: Officer Cadet Kal Shadowhand, Watchman Dylan Freewater, Officer Cadet Rory Munro.
Once upon a time there were four mighty Covians who travelled through the Lost Lands. They were;
Kal Shadowhand the Sneaky !
Dylan Freewater the Jubilant !
Rory Munro the Bearded !
Kas Valentine the Gorgeous !
On their travels they found a boat and sailed to a sandy paradise full of big giant blighters;
Gorgeous states the obvious.
"Lets stab them up the rear" said Sneaky.
"No no, we must teach them the ways of goodness" preached Jubilant.
"Pah to that, if they grew a good thick beard they wouldn't want to smash skulls" grumbled Bearded.
Suddenly Gorgeous proclaimed "You fools, how dare you speak to them that way, can't you see they're ladies!?" and set about dealing with the giant blighters in a distinctly unorthodox (but very charming) fashion.
*strange squelching noises can be heard*Sneaky averted his eyes, Jubilant threw up his lunch and Bearded watched avidly with one hand in his chin fur. Soon enough Gorgeous had calmed the giant blighters using his relentless (but sexy) methods and the way was clear for the four heroes to march to victory.
Kilts to the wind and fancy free !
"Never again, never again" chanted Jubilant as he rocked back and forth.
"Goodbye my friends, I cannot live with such horrific images" screamed Sneaky and jumped off the cliff to his death.
"You must show me how to speak to women like that" reflected Bearded. With a charming grin and one hand on the hairy ones shoulder Gorgeous whispered "all in good time young fellow, all in good time" and we fade to black with a blood curdling scream.
*beard ruffling noises can be heard*THE END;
Victory for our Covian heroes !
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