Fenwick roared with laughter, tears streamed down his face, the last few lines of the report had been dictated between bouts of apoplectic guffawing.
"signed Charles H Fenwick" the scribe completed the report with the flowing signature that Fenwick thought looked "dead preddy" and, leaving the parchment on the desk, took his leave.
"yeah go go" Fenwick said belatedly, wiping the tears from his face.
A few paces away from the house the scribe heard Fenwick shout "MELONS!" at the top of his voice and the laughter began again.
"Bloody moron" the scribe muttered and made a mental note to not even think such things lest Fenwick got to hear of itGathering Fruit and VegetablesKnowing of our pressing need for fresh supplies of food I went to the fields in Cove to see what I could gather. Having cleared the area of prying eyes I set to work. After a while I got tired of the interuptions, I even had some low life beggar telling me the land was his. One mage in particular just wouldn't take the hint to "shove off" and the place was too exposed to drop him
Next stop was the orchards where the fruit was plentiful but even after this I did not have enough to fill our empty bellies so I set off to find the farmer to complete the supplies.
Turns out the farmer was a woman so I set about seducing her with my wit and charm but she turned me down flat. Thinkin' back she was a strapping lass in dugerees so maybe I wasn't her type if you know what I mean. Anyway I had to resort to more conventional means of persuasion.......
"Mr Fenwick are you sure you want to say that?"
"Yer sure sure, it's a good joke, dead funny"
Fenwick was still chortling to himself so didn't notice the scribe rolling his eyes. The man was like a child except this one would slit your throat in an instant if the whim so took him
....but at least that way I got me hands on her melons.
All the food collected has been delivered to our warehouse for distribution.
Signed in a flowing hand
Charles H Fenwick
Author